Last night, I completed the Donor Screening Questionnaire with my sister. Eleven pages of verifying that she doesn't have West Nile Virus, smallpox or the vaccine for smallpox that may have a scab that "separated spontaneously", or any other strange disease. My favorite question was question number three: Have you engaged in sex in exchange for money or drugs in the preceding five years? If it happened in high school, no big deal, but in the last five years--we need to talk.
My sister Hana answered the questions quickly, but always caught on when I threw her a curve ball, like, would you rather eat a slug or be locked in a room with snakes for 15 minutes? She wouldn't entertain me. My sister is much more serious than I am.
Completing the questionnaire was step one. Step two was blood tests, which she also did yesterday. Before I got off the phone with her I said, "So we're really doing this?" Statement and question.
"Yeah, I want to," she replied. And that was that.
I've been thinking about this process a lot, especially since Noah is finally coming home tonight and we can really talk about how we feel about moving forward. I feel that we've done everything we could at this stage, physically and financially, and now it's time to move on. I'm ok with it. Today at least. But I do wonder if maybe we should also start the adoption process, just in case my sister's eggs don't work. I'm always thinking ahead.
But I think I know what Noah may say. That we're not there yet. That for us, rather than pursue everything at once, we've taken more of a one step at a time approach. So that's what we will probably do.
I think it's fair. Noah still has a chance at his biology, and I would like the experience of carrying a baby, even though it won't be my biology. If it doesn't work, we try something else.
I found this clip of Noah talking about knowing this process takes time and often several attempts bcfore getting what's known in this world as a "take home baby." This was shot on aspiration day during our IVF cycle. The doctor just gave him his sperm report, which the doctor said was worthy of being put up on the fridge. Noah was very pleased with himself, though the end result was still no take home baby.
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