Counting down to IVF round 2

Ok. I know I said I was going to live my life fully and not count the days until we start IVF again, but HOW CAN I NOT COUNT THE DAYS UNTIL WE START IVF AGAIN? When you're in this world, everything revolves around your shot schedule and your mood, and between those two things much of the day is taken up. 

So I haven't posted video in a while. That's my bad, but it is because I've been busy living my life. And that is my good. And because I've been busy in my waking hours, I've noticed my anxieties about round 2 have been haunting me in my sleep in the form of insane nightmares. The majority of them are about having to fight bad guys with a celebrity partner in crime, which doesn't sound scary but two nights ago I woke up sweating and wondering if Jennifer Aniston and I really just had to fend off attackers on a cruise ship. Then night before that I was on a date with Jay Z (yeah, that's not the nightmare part) and when he was dropping me off at home we noticed there were bad guys about to kill my parents. Obviously Jay Z saved us all, but I woke up, again, drenched and panicked.

Last night I dreamt that my sister had changed her mind about donating her eggs. It was so real and I was crying and screaming and she was really indifferent and it was awful, and when I woke up at 5:41am I knew what all my fear dreams were really about. It's crazy what the subconsious can cook up.

So now that we are 5 days away from starting, I'm hoping I can process my fears best I canin the day so I can get a good nights sleep one of these nights! I guess it's all normal. I just wish I could dream about winning a trip to Hawaii (with Jay Z or not) or something like that. 

Comments

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

AHHHHH!! Trying to find my calm and just hoping everything checks out fine when we see the Doc on Thursday. I checked out your blog BTW and saw all the food and lifestyle changes you and your Hubs have been doing. Good on ya! We did that too--though after a year I can't say there wasn't some cheating going on. One other thing you might check out, if you haven't already, are Brazil nuts for the Hubs. Supposed to be a good male fertility food. I think the wheatgrass helped my follicle count increase, though here I am using my sister's eggs so I can't say anything really "worked." I just noticed more follicles when I took it and when I did acupuncture. Good luck!

[caroline]

5 days away, very exciting!!