I think it's kind of funny that I've lived on IF island for YEARS now and I still think I have some control over the situation, or that if the doctor makes a plan for me that that is what is going to happen. Haven't I learned yet that the #1 survival skill here is to be able to accept a change in the plan? What does a plan mean anyway? It's just a little list of things that have to be done that make me feel better. In the end there is no real plan. We've got to put this last embryo in at some point, and that point is when my body is ready and the embryologist is in town and the doctor says it looks like the best time for it. How can I gracefully accept that plan even if it doesn't correlate with my calendar? That's the key.
My plan for today wasn't to ovulate, but I think I'm about to. I have two faint lines on the predictor kit which means an LH surge is coming any minute. Then the plan is to call the doc and see what the new plan is. It's more like a scavenger hunt actually. One thing leads to the next and you never really know where you're going, you just know what you want the end result to be and in order to get there you have to go with the flow. You have to remind yourself that there will be boulders and stop signs and all kind of junk in the way, and that's part of the deal.
The other plan for today was to have my second to last sobada massage with Abuela, but she got sick and had to go back to Mexico. Soooo....that plan is out the window. Now my plan has to be to do something, anything productive that will get my mind off this madness. It's all a test of flexibility I suppose. We never know what life is going to throw us.
I'll start by having a cup of tea and taking a shower.
Happy Monday all!
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