Maya asked me to write another guest blog. I’m starting to feel like I’m writing too much, though. Dear reader, I still want our interactions to feel special and I want you to notice when I’m not around. But one more note couldn’t hurt.
As we await the upcoming beta test to find out whether or not we are taking the next step towards our family (or two steps back), the word that keeps popping up for me is “patience.” I am, by nature, a patient person. My wife, by nature and in practice, is not. And, like it or not, this stumble through the harsh jungles of infertility is not a “I get what I want and I want it now” sort of endeavor. It is, in fact, an excruciating lesson in patience and staying focused on what is important.
Time spent dealing with infertility is like a rubber band. It has a way of expanding (how many times have you uttered, “I can’t believe we’ve been going through treatments for this long”) and contracting (shots and injections every day at the exact same time), sometimes feeling like it is going in both directions at once. The quality you must exhibit, aside from other things like faith and humor, is patience. You take each day as it comes, each injection as it stings, and each phone call as it delivers disappointing news. You do this and you are patient because, in the end, you will have your baby. It may not happen tomorrow or in nine months. It may not even come from you body. Point is, we will all find our finish line. And as long as our goal is to have a family, we will make it happen, one way or another. It is that end that will keep you patient, keep you dedicated when the numbers aren’t right or the test comes back negative.
I’m trying to manage my expectations for the end of this week. I feel like we’ve been knocked down time and again and there are moments when it doesn’t seem like it’s worth getting up and trying any more. But I’m thinking positive thoughts. I’m telling my wife I love her every five minutes. I’m even taking out the trash without being asked. OK, sometimes she has to remind me. “I’m trying. Please be patient with me,” I tell her.
As we await the upcoming beta test to find out whether or not we are taking the next step towards our family (or two steps back), the word that keeps popping up for me is “patience.” I am, by nature, a patient person. My wife, by nature and in practice, is not. And, like it or not, this stumble through the harsh jungles of infertility is not a “I get what I want and I want it now” sort of endeavor. It is, in fact, an excruciating lesson in patience and staying focused on what is important.
Time spent dealing with infertility is like a rubber band. It has a way of expanding (how many times have you uttered, “I can’t believe we’ve been going through treatments for this long”) and contracting (shots and injections every day at the exact same time), sometimes feeling like it is going in both directions at once. The quality you must exhibit, aside from other things like faith and humor, is patience. You take each day as it comes, each injection as it stings, and each phone call as it delivers disappointing news. You do this and you are patient because, in the end, you will have your baby. It may not happen tomorrow or in nine months. It may not even come from you body. Point is, we will all find our finish line. And as long as our goal is to have a family, we will make it happen, one way or another. It is that end that will keep you patient, keep you dedicated when the numbers aren’t right or the test comes back negative.
I’m trying to manage my expectations for the end of this week. I feel like we’ve been knocked down time and again and there are moments when it doesn’t seem like it’s worth getting up and trying any more. But I’m thinking positive thoughts. I’m telling my wife I love her every five minutes. I’m even taking out the trash without being asked. OK, sometimes she has to remind me. “I’m trying. Please be patient with me,” I tell her.
You guys rock! Thank you for sharing your experience, it really helps all of us struggling in infertility land. Continue to be strong, you will get there :)
Posted by: Nadia | November 07, 2013 at 06:14 AM
Wow! I have been following this blog for a couple of months, since I stumbled unto it while looking for info about the ivf procedure. I'm in my first cycle, had ER two wks ago. Unfortunately, I only had one which they inseminated and froze. Have to go thru the shots again to get more hopefully. I pray for you guys, and all other couples like us going thru this emotional roller coaster. Patience....yes that's the word! Don't ever let it go, it will happen for you. Thank God for supportive husbands such as yourself!
Posted by: Johanne F | November 06, 2013 at 09:04 PM