To Pee or Not To Pee

That is the question. I've been reading about this topic of taking a home pregnancy test (hpt) on different blogs and message boards (many of them found on this incredible resource/blog list known as "the Stirrup Queen's Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer" at http://www.stirrup-queens.com/a-whole-lot-of-blogging-brought-to-you-sorted-and-filed/). 

What I've found is that a lot of people test their pee WAY before their beta hcg blood test, and many people get positive results as early as 5 days past 5 day transfer aka 5dp5dt. I had NO IDEA hcg would show up so early in pee (granted some of these women transferred multiple embryos and may have multiple babies), but still. I am now 10dp6dt and last night I asked Noah about taking a test. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Do you think we should take a pregnancy test or not?

Noah: No.

Me: Why? If we test and it's positive then we can feel a little relief going into the beta, feeling more confident. If it's negative, we can start preparing to process that this didn't work, again, and we can know it was still maybe too early to detect and have some hope left for the blood test?

Noah: No.

Me: WHY? I have two left over pregnancy tests, granted one is expired (how sad) and one is a super cheap one, but we can just use what we have left and then that's it.

Noah: I don't think it's a good idea.

Me: BUT WHY NOT? Don't you see...If I'm holding to the idea that it's either going to work or it's not, then we can't believe we are going to jinx something, if that's what you're thinking.

Noah: That's not what I'm thinking.

Me: Well, what are you thinking?

Noah's raised right eyebrow: You really want to know what I'm thinking?

My bug-eyed annoyed face: Yeah!

Noah: I'm thinking you really aren't asking for my opinion, you are telling me why you are planning on doing this so that when you're crying because it's negative or wondering if it's a false positive because the tests are cheap or from last year, I'm going to have to talk you off a ledge! I don't feel like playing that game, again! Have you met you? You think you're going to take a test and whatever the result it just be satisfied? How are you going to hold it together at work for the next two days? Friday we will know. We will be together to get the news. That's what I think.

Me (walking away): Geeze. Who asked you anyway.

Noah: YOU DID!

Sooo....that was the To Pee or Not To Pee discussion. As you can see, we're at a bit of a standstill. It's only a few more days I suppose, but it feels like it's taking forever! 

When I opened my computer this morning Noah sent me this hysterical video with the subject, "This is what we want?!"

Yup. This is what we want. 

Comments

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Thanks for following Happy Khan. It is a scary world but there is a lot of support out there. I don't really give out my email address but my husband is going to try and figure out a way to get an email through the blog so I will keep you posted. You should check out Baby Center, they have groups that people write in and get questions answered by peers. And Stirrup Queens has a great blog with lots of resources. Good luck to you!

[Happy Khan]

I dont know how I came to ur Blog dear, but i have read all ur comments ect. ect. ect sometimes i was laughing and sometimes i get so angry, because why god is playing game with us? im ur age i want to do IVF soon, but this treatment make me sosooooooooooooooooooooo scare.... and then Cost.. i was trying to e-mail u but dont find ur e-mail dear, let me have ur e-mail please.....i want to ask u something cant ask here.....

[Courtney]

So nervous & excited for you!!! Positive, positive, positive!!

[Kandie]

This post makes me wanna throw up (from nerves). I have already started thinking about this for my transfer and it isn't until December 16th! Your conversation sounds exactly how mine would go if I were having the same convo with my husband. I wish we could just sleep through the waiting period. I dread it more than the huge needle in the hip everyday. Just hold out, you've only got a couple more days. The rational side of me agrees with Noah. I would second guess either result too, so what would be the point. The beta is a final, just wait for it. :) I am praying so hard.

[TYV]

I took the test when I was only 4 days after transfer, just couldn't help myself! I got a very faint BFP and I remember that I was running out of the bathroom screaming and crying. I was telling my hubby that I didn't care that was a faint line, for me it was good enough! I wish you best of luck!

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

AHHHHH!! Pee on a stick fever indeed! Who would have ever thought I'd be sitting on a Tuesday night eating rice crispy treats and writing about my pee. Oh life! But I'm so glad I get to share this with you all and so appreciate all the love and support and well wishes! Noah won't let me pee. Bottom line. So I will wait until Friday. I think there are a handful of you gals going for your betas also this week or early next. Know that my thoughts are with you! This whole journey is so crazy and while we are all in different stages and places of anticipation or hear break, we can all share in the experience and serve as a reminder that families are made in many different ways, and what may seem super crappy today won't necessarily be tomorrow. Noah keeps saying we keep thinking about what has happened in the past and wondering what our immediate future will bring (will this nightmare be over??!!!) but haven't really been present. So I will try to be present these last few days...if anyone wants to share their stories of the days leading up to beta please do! I think the more stories the better!

[Samantha]

Pee On A Stick fever has arrived! If you do, remember there might not quite be enough to be in pee yet...blood test is way more sensitive. If you go for it, I would go get a FRER or something decent, you need a pretty sensitive test at this point. I am thinking of you and Lone Ranger, hoping and praying that a home has been made and LR is getting busy! *hugs* Do tell if you decide to pee!!

[Blake]

I feel like we're all in this with you too! I know my own journey isn't moving along very quickly at the moment, because we're kind of at a fork in the road as far as what we want to try next, but I've been thinking about you and really sending positive and happy thoughts your way!

[Christie]

Don't pee!!! Lol. I waited till beta and I was 9 dpt and my beta was only 61.68 and even the next day when I did finally POAS it was very faint. I could have made myself so sad because it may not have shown up on the day before or day of beta. So don't do it! Wait for accurate results....I know the wait is excruciating but you can do this! Noah is right...do it together :). Can't wait to find out....I feel like we're all in this with you ;).

[Cheryl]

I like to test early because it softens the blow from a negative beta result. If it's negative then you are either more prepared for the negative beta or pleasantly surprised at a positive beta. And if you do decide to test you can strengthen your argument that there are no false positives if you didn't trigger. ;) Whatever you decide, we are all on pins and needles for you!!

[Silvia]

I got a BFP 10dpo. They have lots of over the counter tests that are accurate 6 days before your missed period(10dpo), so if you want to test now, it will almost certainly be accurate.

Your reasons to test seem valid to me. Whatever you decide though, good luck!

S

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Thanks for sharing your story Cory. I'm sorry this round didn't work and that you have to go in and get poke by a needle, again. It's abusive. It's so frustrating, especially the "unexplained" because we want answers so badly! I do know people who just keep doing IUI and eventually it just works, so hopefully with a few more rounds you will be one of those people. But I know it feels like this torture will never end. Good luck to you. I hope some miracle happens tomorrow but know better than to hold my breath. You are truly not alone in this. Anyone on IF Island knows the utter disappointment of that BFN. Don't give up. Your baby needs you to keep fighting!

[Cory]

I just want to say that I find great comfort in your blog. I really appreciate how candid you are about a subject that's typically kept so private. I've had a hard time finding an outlet for all of these emotions where I don't have to sugar coat everything for others' comfort or put it up to fate or god or whatever else removes what little control I do have over the situation from my hands. I've been ttc for over a year and a half now - everything checks out perfectly with me and my husband so we've been branded with 'unexplained infertility' - joy...Immediately after finding out another 'infertile' friend just got pregnant the natural way, I found out my 2nd IUI was unsuccessful. I found out because I caved at 11dpiui and peed on a stick. You know how our minds work in these situations - desperately churning out explanations that we know deep down are bs - 'it's an internet cheapie and kind of old so maybe it's a dud', 'maybe it's too soon to detect any hcg', or 'maybe it wasn't concentrated enough since it wasn't fmu'. So I went out and bought more tests and peed on those - negative. I peed on one this morning for good measure - negative. Tomorrow is my beta and I tried to get out of it. The nurse insisted that I come in for some reason (I know it's not to pour salt in the wounds but that's how it feels).

So that's my longwinded way of saying, don't pee!!! Just wait....your husband is right. Let yourself hold on to whatever amount of hope you feel during this tww for a little bit longer.

Anyway, thank you again for sharing your experiences so openly. It really does help those of us going through the same thing to feel not alone. :)