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December 02, 2013

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Don't Count Your Eggs

Hey Hope. The way we were indeed. It's sad to think about, but I also try to focus on how we've grown, as individuals, as a couple, as supports for other people on this Island. We have so much more understanding and empathy for ourselves and others, maybe it will serve us in some way in the future. Welcome to "the break room." That's what I'll call this little time out area. I hate it but it's probably necessary. At least giving our bodies a little rest will be good. Hopefully the holidays will feel sort of back to the way we were. Sending much love to you.

Hope

Maya, you're right about listening to your body. I decided today (well husband I decided but you know we're steering this ship lol) that I don't want to start IVF this month. I'm just too stressed about it and need more time to deal with my emotions. I need to be in a better mind set, emotionally and physically before beginning the exhaustive journey of IVF. I like what Cheryl said as well about "breaking" this thinking of ours and trying to enjoy life again - just like we used to right? Just last night, I heard a song by Barbara Streisand called "The Way We Were" and it made me think of what infertility has done to us as individuals and our relationships - the lyrics speak of memories, smiles we left behind, the smiles we gave to each other - really put things into perspective that that moment. Here's to trying our best to enjoy the holidays :)

Don't Count Your Eggs

Thanks for sharing Cheryl. I like the idea of getting back into fighting shape and am going to post about that now. You're right. Our time will come. It's just not today. Sounds like you've done a great job at reframing things and finding ways to appreciate what you do have. Hope, I TOTALLY get not wanting to "miss" a month. We're all watching the clock tick here, but if you're body is exhausted you have to honor that. That's how I feel. I saw the word Lupron on a sample cycle sheet and I literally started sweating. Good luck to you both and thanks for your great comments.

Cheryl

I'm also taking Dec off (as I did Oct & Nov after my failed Sept IVF). At first the idea of spending the holidays with nothing on the docket (so to speak) seemed unbearable. Surrounded by my friends and family in which babies seem to be falling out of the sky for while I'm at a stall. It was hard to not be bitter and resentful. But now I'm choosing to look at it differently... I have to keep reminding myself that it may be next month, it may be in 2 years, but we'll have our family. However it happens, natural, IVF, egg donor... Someday it WILL be our time. And our friends and family will be overjoyed. So for now, for this year anyway, I'm going to enjoy what I have in my life instead of killing myself over what I don't have. I know I'll get there and I know it will be an uphill battle. I like to think of this "break" as getting myself back into fighting shape!!

Hope

I'm in the same spot as you right now. Trying to decide if we should take this month off if I get my period next week and start IVF next month (year - we've completed the IVF pretreatment testing). I've also managed to put off obtaining a personal loan for IVF because the financial cost of same freaks me out since it's a risky gamble - you are still not guaranteed a baby. I'm tired, stressed, exhausted but yet not tired enough to say okay let's put things on hold for the month of December to give us time to think and to enjoy the holidays but at the same time I feel like that's what my body wants - if that makes sense. Ay yi yi.

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