I've been thinking a lot about ways to let 2013 go. To really close the chapter on everything that happened or didn't happen last year. To change my own narrative a bit and let myself be just a gal trying to make a family, not a gal with a series of losses and disappointments. That all happened. No doubt that I have some baggage. But what also happened is I've learned a few things about myself and my husband and I know I can fight tigers in the jungle if I had to. We on IF Island have super strength and determination, which is going to help us through whatever comes next.
Part of letting go of the past requires a different focal point. Sometimes it's a bit of a challenge over the holidays seeing family and family friends and answering the question, "so how have you guys been." Ummmmm....It's no longer about how we've been. It's about how we are. And in this given moment we are in bed, watching snow fall outside. We can feel warmth and love and the sensation of our breath fill our lungs. The focus can no longer be on retelling all the crap we've been through. It has to be on feeling open and ready to write the final chapters to how we get our baby.
I've been reading some of the blog posts on stirrup queens (I'm having a hard time posting links from the iPad but it's www.stirrup-queens.com). There are almost 100 blog posts from different bloggers that were submitted, and they give a good recap of the different struggles in infertility people have been through this past year. There are so many different struggles and so many different ways to build a family. Well not soooo many, but a handful. It's worth checking out. To see where people have been and where they are going. To see that many have resolved their situation and have created a family. To remember that all of the stories are SO 2013.
2014 has yet to be written.
Here's to a clean sheet of paper, a sexy new ballpoint, an open mind and open heart, and a good attitude.
Welcome The Daily Dose! That's all we all are--a few awesome ladies who will fight tigers and bears and find our baby. And we will. Some how, some way.
Heather--my attitude really depends on the day ;) but isn't that true for all of us? Hope the injections aren't too bad. I used to make a count down calendar and after my last shot of the night would cross off another day to feel another day closer to my potential baby. It didn't work out for us, but being cautiously optimistic is important. Don't think of the potential sad part, just think that you are doing EVERYTHING you can in this moment to find your baby. And that's incredible. And speaking of incredible...Homeland?!!! Right!!! Yeah. Finding some good TV to sink your brain into is great. I used to listen to old Ricky Gervais podcasts too at night, just to laugh and not think of anything. WIshing you the best of luck!
And Dina! I wish you the best in 2014! Babies around the world!!!
Posted by: Don't Count Your Eggs | January 07, 2014 at 08:06 AM
I stopped by from Creme de la Creme...and so glad I did! I can't wait to follow your journey as you summed it all up really well. I too, "want to change my narrative a bit this next year and let myself be just a gal trying to make a family, not a gal with a series of losses and disappointments".
Beautifully written. Can't wait to read more!
www.mrthomponandme.blogspot.com
Posted by: The Daily Dose | January 06, 2014 at 07:45 PM
Hello! I think your attitude is amazing. I commented before and your response was so comforting and I have been seeing the positive things. I'm well into my first week of injections, and they aren't so bad...yet. Hopefully things work out. I am praying!!
We have come to the resolution that if we do get bad news, it will be sad, but it won't be the end of anything, just a different and new beginning.
We started watching Homeland the day I started my injections- we both had slight fevers, but had to make the two hour round trip drive for ultrasound and bloodwork anyway, IVF waits for no flu! During our sickness couch ridden stupor we managed to watch all three seasons in less than a week.....you were right, the show is incredible!
Posted by: Heather | January 06, 2014 at 02:20 PM
I wish you two all the best for 2014. I hope you will get your child soon.
Many hugs from Sweden.
Posted by: Dina | January 03, 2014 at 12:38 PM