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February 18, 2014

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Don't Count Your Eggs

Claire-- what a roller coaster to get a BFP and then have it come crashing down on you that same day! I'm so sorry. It's so painful and doesn't make any sense. And it doesn't make any sense for Sarah either--but we focus on what we can, as Davy says, being thankful for what we have rather than focusing on what we want. I wish you guys so much strength. We have to believe our happy ending is out there--some where, some day hopefully soon.

Sarah

Wow I've just been reading your blog and I feel your pain and understand on some kinda level how you feel.I find the day to day pain so hard but the why me is the hardest to cope with.I had 2 cycles last year both ended in total fertilisation failure and no reason why!!! 26 eggs on the icsi and 23 eggs on my 1st ivf cycle the doctors are baffled as I am very blessed to have a beautiful 5 yr old son concieved naturally with my husband.I can understand people saying you're lucky you have one but there's still a deep hole in my heart desperate for another .I guess the knowing how amazing it is to concieve and have a child leaves me begging for number 2. With no rhyme or reason were just hoping whatever may have changed between us changes back one of these days but the waiting wondering and longing are sometimes just too hard.i hope we end up with a happy ending keep up the royal jelly I think there's something in it I've been taking it for 2 months now and I need to believe it's doing some good!!!! Sending luck your way xx

Claire

Maya, things do not happen for a reason. We can't believe that they do, it's so hard to live in the now when all we are doing is hoping and wishing for something else. It does feel lonely, it really kind of sucks. Thank you for writing these posts.

My journey has changed a bit since I've last posted... I went through IVF and had 9 eggs retrieved and 9 fertilized!! It was so exciting! We had 2 transferred and I had a positive beta the same day I started bleeding. It was devastating. The good news is that we have 4 frozen and we will be doing a natural frozen transfer in 2 cycles. I am really trying to stay positive, but it feels like if it didn't work last time, why will it this time? I know I'm lucky to be able to do this, financially, physically, and remembering that I'm strong enough emontially to handle it.

We can do this.

Davy

Maya, I think you are right that we cannot "make sense" of infertility. It doesn't make sense or seem fair. My husband and I are with you guys in reminding each other to be thankful for what we have rather than focusing on what we want. Thanks for the post!

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