FET Scheduled!...I think...

So yesterday I went to my RE's office (he's out of town but I still had the ultrasound), and everything looked to be in order. The nurse in Seattle said they were willing to schedule us, even though my estrogen and progesterone labs hadn't come in yet. So we got scheduled for Next Friday the 11th in the afternoon. Whoo hoo! I felt a huge sense of relief. Finally, there was a plan. My anxiety made a slight shift towards excitement and I found myself thinking next Friday, a week from today, we're going to get our baby. Since I have tears at the ready at all times, (may also just be the estrogen) my eyes start to water just thinking that. 

Then around 6pm, way after the clinic closes, my blood lab results came in and my estradiol levels had dropped over 650 points. What? I started to panic. What does this mean? Why is it dropping when we are doing the same medication we have been? It's supposed to be going up, I think, not down? What will this mean? My relief lasted but a few hours, and then I was back to feeling the way I usually feel on IF Island...confused and frantic. The most used word here on the Island for me is, "huh?" Followed by, "why?" then "are you serious?" then "well, what can we do?" then, "I can't believe that just happened?" I wrote my RE, who is on vacation somewhere with his family, and his brief response was that it was "very odd" that my levels dropped unless I changed the dosage. That what it. When I asked what I should do, he didn't respond, because he doesn't feel he is the doctor in charge here. But the doctor in charge in Seattle is out for the long weekend (I hope at least someone is at the clinic today).  I also found out she will not be doing my transfer because she is on vacation next week. Whatever. I feel like I could do my own transfer at this point. Just give me a long straw and a mirror and I'll get that embryo in. 

Anyway, the momentary feeling of relief followed by uncertainty is par for the course. I found an old post about this insanity from October of last year when I was preparing for an FET. 

Sometimes I wonder if it's just me, or if nothing seems to go according to plan. The human body is mysterious, and making babies is proving to be even more incomprehensible. Didn't we learn in high school health class that a sperm meets an egg and then a baby is made? Yeah, right. For the past two years in the world of ART, nothing for us has taken a normal trajectory. The way I respond to meds is usually backwards, all our beautifully fertilized eggs turned to mush in the dish, 50% of my sister's donated eggs were inseminated by two sperm and had to be tossed, we finally had one lone embryo reach blastocyst stage by day 6, but it took an abnormal developmental trajectory.  "Huh? Why? Are you serious?" 

Nothing is simple. It just isn't. Well, that's not necessarily true. We did interview one couple for our documentary who did IVF once and had a cancelled cycle, but then did it a second time, got two eggs out, put two embryos in and got twins. Yeah, that happens for some people, so it is possible. It's hard to believe that can happen, just as it's hard for me to believe that anyone is ever born!

So the drama continues a bit until I can get a hold of someone who can debunk the mystery of the dropping estrogen, but for now, we have an FET date and a pair of expensive last minute plane tickets bought, so we are as close to a go as we'll get right now.

Sending anyone on this confusing roller coaster ride a big fat hug! And for those in America, happy 4th of July. Noah and I are driving down to San Diego to watch the Giants play the Padres, because nothing says America like baseball and hot dogs! 

Comments

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Hi Kayla--
Sorry to hear about all your frustrations, and I wish I had some answers. My issue wasn't my lining as much as my ovaries would just do the weirdest things. On Lupron I produced more follicles than I did on Menopur. It's like everything was opposite. I stumped my doctor. He was like-- this rarely happens...which somehow all of us hear right? I wish there was something more clear for you but hopefully, eventually you'll be able to move forward and I'm crossing my fingers for an awesome outcome!
M

[Kayla]

Hi Maya. I know this post is old but I’m kind of in the same boat as you with your body not cooperating like everyone else’s. I have had several “only to me” events. I have PCOS and do not ovulate on my own.

We had a cancelled IUI because we kept upping the dosage of meds and my body never responded. Then we had a cancelled FET bc my lining wasn’t thickening with the estrogen and then the next week my estrogen levels tripled and the trilaninar lining collapsed. I then had 2 successful FET but each ended in a miscarriage.

The second miscarriage we re tested the “product of conception” after the D&C and it came back with a chromosome abnormality even though the pgs testing done on the embryo before the transfer came back normal. It was something that “never happens” but of course happened to me.

I am currently in another FET cycle and last Thursday my lining was trilaminar and 7mm. Today, Tuesday, it was only a 6.2 and no longer trilaminar. Also my estrogen levels dropped from a 734 last week to a 420 today. I have continued the estrogen dosage the whole time so I don’t understand the decline either.

Did you ever get any answers when this happened to you?

[Kay]

Maya- thanks for the information. My doctor mentioned bloating after the transfer. I will see her again on Monday to see if the 4 viles of Menopur are making more progress. I hope so. This is our first cycle and we are starting right with IVF with ICSI because of my issues and issues with my husband's sperm. I am terrified, because I never thought I'd have to do anything like this to have a baby, but I find that each thing they tell me I have to do I just do it, without much thought. It's amazing what you can get yourself to do when you want something so badly. I am hoping that our cycle will be finished by the end of this month and that we will be on our 2 week wait.
I enjoy your blog because it always me to relate to someone going through something similar. Thank you for doing this and sharing you story. I hope you are writing about your pregnancy and parenthood soon. Thinking of you and looking forward to hearing good news :)

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Hi Kay-- I'm trying to think back to my meds. Remember every doctor will do a slightly different protocol and what is best for some is not best for others. With that said, during my IVF cycle with my eggs I did 4 vials of menopur, and I think 150, then 200 (don't remember the measurements, iu?) of follistim. Then I did Ganirelix to prevent ovulation, then I did omnitrope human growth hormone at the end--I think to help implantation. Mind you, this didn't work. I was a slow responder--we ended up doing the meds for 10 days, and very few follicles grew. When I did IUI, I was on up to 6, then 8 vials of menopur, which is apparently enough to kill a horse, but still my body hardly responded. I think the weight gain is a cumulative thing, and I think it's mostly from the estrogen and progesterone, and lack of exercise motivation that happens to me. I've probably gained a total of 10 pounds, and my body shape has changed--soft belly and bigger butt, glorious. When my sis did an IVF cycle for us to donate egg, she got bloated during the cycle but did not gain any weight. Good luck to you!

[Kay]

Hi Maya! Thinking of you and sending baby prayers your way. I have just started Menopur about a week ago and I am responding slower than expected. My dosage was upped to 4 viles a day. I was wondering what meds you were/are on? I know you talk about weight gain and I am wondering how much you gained and what med caused that to happen. So far, I feel lucky because I haven't had any side effects or weight gain but I am only one the one med currently. Any information you could pass on would be great!

Thanks!

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Thanks for all the love guys. Sounds like I'm not the only one whose body does its own thang on these meds! Or who has to deal with the constant cancellations and rescheduling... If I hear another doc say, "hmm..that's odd. That's not supposed to happen" I'm going to explode. It's all a test of patience, as Jill said. No one at the clinic responded to my dropping estrogen levels so I'm proceeding like it's no big deal. Flying out on Weds and will keep everyone posted. Lots of luck to anyone else currently in a cycle, about to start a cycle, just getting out of a cycle...that's all of us, right?

[Laura]

Best of luck!! Hope it's your ticket off island!

[Dawn]

Maya~ I am so sorry that things couldn't just go as planned for once. It's a tricky, tricky place here on IF Island. I hope you get some answers soon and that things can move forward. Hope you had a wonderful 4th!

[Devon]

Happy 4th holiday weekend!! It's all so tricky isn't it? I'm learning you just never know.... After a week of stims for my current cycle my estrogen levels actually dropped from where they were on no stims, we canceled my cycle. Sadly.
I'm rooting for you this weekend and next week... Your going to get there!!! Big hugs!!

[Samantha]

My body whacked out on the meds too...nothing to do but pray to whatever higher power you believe in and hope for the best. Big hugs, and I hope this is it!!!

[Denise]

I am hoping you get some good news!

[Myra]

Hoping you get good news Maya. GO GIANTS!

[Jill B @ hopinghopefloats.blogspot.com]

I can relate to your scheduling and infertility woes. Last month my hormones were all over the place too - so we had to delay our IVF cycle. Now my RE is going on vacation for two weeks. I try to remind myself that I just need to be patient . . . but it's hard. Wishing you all the very best. It will happen! I know you feel anxious and confused and very frustrated . . . but feel excited too - and hopeful! I'm hoping and praying for you!

[Becky]

Such a crazy ride! We are all hopeful that things go your way on this one!

[phaira]

fingers and toes...whole body crossed that this works out for you guys! hugs :)