Are stretch marks going to one day be my biggest concern?

Last night, my neighbor came over with a little sample of some Clarins oil that she said she used to prevent stretch marks throughout her pregnancy. Another friend also swears by this stuff and I had a surreal moment where I thought, "are stretch marks going to one day be my biggest concern?" It made me smile. At this stage I could kinda care less. I changed my body wash and face wash and haven't worn nail polish in two years, thinking some how my products might have been negatively impacting our A.R.T outcomes, so the idea of slathering on anything extra that doesn't have estrogen or progesterone in it to help keep the baby alive seems almost...too normal? Does that make sense? If I get to a point where I am legitimately worried about stretch marks, I know I'm in a good place.

Right now, even though we saw Momo and he had shoulders and knees and stuff, I still have a few other worries ranging from am I getting enough nutrition to what's going to happen when I finally go off the PIO shots to will I start bleeding again to what the results of my cell free DNA test will reveal to anticipation for my NT scan next Tuesday where I think they look for markers for various syndromes. Then I start to worry about how much I worry, knowing full well if this kid comes out twitching that will directly be my contribution. I wonder if placental cortisol levels can be tested? OMG, I don't need to know that. 

I can't wait for the day when finding pants that fit and selecting the perfect stretch mark prevention cream are my major worries. I can't even imagine. After all of this, it almost seems vain. I'd gain 100lbs and have 1000 stretch marks if it meant a healthy baby--but if I don't have to, that could be ok too. 

Being P after A.R.T comes with some baggage, that's for sure. But it also comes with the possibility of slowly, eventually, becoming a little more "typical." I will never know what your average pregnant woman experiences. I assume many of the worries are similar. But I do know that my experiences leading up to this point have been profoundly impacting, and I have to give myself space to accept that and try to reason with some of my fears.

And some time, hopefully soon, the day will come where my biggest struggle is choosing a stretch mark cream. And when that day comes I will celebrate the fact that I'm getting stretch marks because that will mean everything is ok.

Comments

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Lisa, glad the first shot went well. Make yourself a little calendar counting off the days! I'll be thinking of you. Jabara is great, and I hope our paths cross too! Noah and I will be at the Resolve walk of hope on the 21st with a booth for our documentary! WOuld love to meet you but you maybe be on bed rest :) 8 Follies on each side is promising! Even if you do hyperstim it might mean you get a lot of eggs and feel really crappy for a few days. Hopefully all goes well. Keep us posted!

[Mie]

Wear your stretch marks as a badge of honour! ;) After two years of trying and a miscarriage, I certainly see stretch marks from carrying and giving birth to our son as something to be proud of and as a sometimes inescapable part of motherhood. <3

[Lisa]

Thanks Jess and JoJo for your advice and kind words! I actually didn't cry last night and my husband helped me with our first shot. We watched the Menopur videos from the manufacturer's website (even though they showed me how to do it at the Dr's office). We spent almost 15 minutes just prepping my one vial! I give myself the shot though. Tonight I did all the prepping myself and it was fine.

Maya I hope our paths cross one day. I'm in Studio City. And I'm actually excited bc Dr. Jabara is doing my ultrasound on Monday. We've never "met" that way before and this is my third cycle. First with injectables though. Just praying everything will look good. At my baseline the NP said I had 8 follicles on each side. Just hope I don't overstimulate. Ugh, just a delicate balance and everything has to just so. I really need to get off social media....it's so hard seeing all the baby pix and pregnancy announcements.

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Lisa. I hope the first shot went well! It's very scary the first time but you'll get more comfortable and hopefully things will grow as they should. I hear ya on Kate. She was P the first time in the midst of our IVF stuff and while I live in CA and couldn't care at all about the Royal Family, it upset me too. I think more upsetting to me was Snookie getting pregnant. That just really got to me. I have had friends have second, third, fourths and FIFTH babies in the time we've been trying! It's all unfair. But try to keep your eyes on your prize and see your journey are uniquely yours. I blocked out the rest of the world. No social media etc. I feel crappy for most of the day but it's not too bad. I just wish I could eat better but nothing really appeals to me. Doing ok. Jojo and Jess! I wish you guys were local so I could meet you both! Thanks for all the support. Deb-- 11 weeks and a few days. Feels like a really long way to go!

[Deb]

Maya, how far along are you? As someone following your progress, but less far along, it would be helpful to know so I can get a sense of what I might expect too...

And I hope stretch marks do become your main concern! What a relief that will be.

[Jess]

I have a feeling you will never care about stretch marks! When I finally grew big enough to get them I actively shunned any products and just focused on protein and water. Today I have a few but they actually make me happy to see. I had the same concern with PIO and considered continuing to take the shots after my RE told me not to. Then I reassessed who was the medical expert that wanted a healthy pregnancy for me almost as much as my husband and I and confidently followed his instructions to stop. You will be just fine! The placenta will be making plenty and your bum will be grateful for the chance to heal. Lisa I feel you on the royal baby thing. I used to purposely avoid looking at the magazine racks because they always seemed to be announcing yet another pregnancy. Just avoid all that stuff as much as you can!

[Jojo]

I hope that stretch marks become your biggest stressor. Although with your lack of meaningless vanity, I hope it becomes what your next meal will be because you are and Momo are so hungry all the time. After IF- I never even thought about them- it just meant you are really P. Hope you are slowly starting to bask in this gift. Also- Lisa- I always broke down the first day I started mixing yet another cycle of meds. Always emotional but somehow we get through it.

[Lisa]

A very real perspective and I appreciate your honesty; I've never been P yet and I'm already worrying about all the "what ifs" after getting P. But like you, I have to stop and realize it is out of my control. I really wish I wasn't a worrier! I'd rather be more like a warrior! I start Menopur for the first time tonight. Not too nervous about it as I can handle needles, but I'm sure once I start screwing on the Q cap, mixing and drawing up the medication I'll start to freak out a bit and get angry that this isn't fair. This may sound stupid, but with the news that Kate Middleton is pregnant again I got mad. We got married one week after her and William and now she's on her second pregnancy. Makes me jealous I guess, and angry too that my body won't cooperate. Okay, needed to vent as I know you understand Maya. Can't wait for you to post a picture of your baby bump - hopefully soon! Has your morning sickness gotten any better?