Finding a Community on IF Island

Yesterday Noah and I had a booth for our documentary, One More Shot, at the Resolve Walk of Hope in Long Beach, CA. 

That's us with Candace and Baby Max, who we interviewed in the film. It was amazing to see so many people out there and it made me think about how important it is to find a community. 

When Noah and I first got our passports stamped on IF Island, we were totally alone. We had no idea what had just happened and though I tried to include my friends in our process, eventually they all went on to have babies and our repeated disappointment and bad news became old news. No one wanted to ask how things were going any more. And we understood that, because we could hardly deal with all of it. After our first IVF ended before transfer day is when I started seeking out people to interview for the documentary. It was meeting these amazing IF Island Survivors who shared their stories that helped me feel like everything was going to some how, some way be ok. They became my community and support and then I started this blog and connected with so many other people from all over the world. I really think it was the support and connections I made on IF Island that saved me in a lot of ways. 

Seeing so many people yesterday walking with groups of friends in support made me smile. I didn't really have that in the beginning until I really sought it out. And it wasn't always easy to find people who I felt understood me. And I spent a lot of time alone with my feelings. I know a lot of you out there understand what I'm talking about, and I hope that wherever you are in your process and wherever you live, you can find some people who get you and support you. We all deserve that. Sometimes it takes more effort and energy than we feel we have, but it's worth it. 

MOMO UPDATE:

It's not a great pict, the ultrasound machines at Kaiser are literally from 1987. But I saw Momo today at 13 weeks, dancing. I also gained 10 lbs. Yeah, that's TEN POUNDS in the last few weeks and my doc said to start, "slowing it down." Best rest + Carbocide = 10 lbs.  I've started feeling a little bit better so maybe I'll try to eat more than loaves of bread smeared with butter and ice cream. And I'm not on bed rest anymore so really there are no excuses. I've also got to break my ultrasound addiction because I've been cut off for a month. I hope I don't have withdrawal symptoms. My next ultrasound is October 20th! I'm already shaking and twitching. 

So that's the update. Sending lots of love to everyone on the Island, especially those who feel totally alone in all of this. You're not. You're REALLY not alone. 

Comments

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Great to meet you too Devon! So nice you were out with your support crew. Tami--I don't know if glowing is the right word, but I'll take it ;) Nicely put Sarah--we really are all connected. We speak the same language and have different versions of the same story. It's kind of incredible to be able to emotionally connect better with people I've never met before than people I've known for years. Hey Jojo! Thanks! Noah's been hitting the gym twice as hard to make up for my lack of exercise so if anyone is looking good right now it's him. A few good eggs--I hope times flies but honestly I feel like it's all moving at a snails pace!

[A Few Good Eggs]

Maya, you look great and congratulations on 13 weeks! I hope the time flies between now and 10/20.

[Jojo]

You look beautiful- as does Momo. Noah isn't too bad either :). Love reading your updates! Xoxo

[Sarah]

I think one of the most amazing things I have learned from my time on IF island (I guess I have one foot on and one off at this point) is how connected we really are. It took something like this for me to be truly vulnerable with more people around me, and I have realized how not alone I really am. I am so glad to feel that, and thanks for being one of those people who has helped me feel that way! Congratulations to you, Noah and Momo for reaching 13 weeks too, that is so exciting!

[Tami]

Yes Maya you look fabulous and are GLOWING! Great update :} Glad you all had an amazing day at the Resolve Walk of Hope. Community is so important! Have a great week,and sending much love.

[Devon]

Hi Maya! It was great to meet you yesterday, I probably could've talked to you forever about IF island. It was such a great walk and it is so very true, that we are not alone! Knowing that this community is out there is amazing! I love to hear that Momo is dancing & I just want you to know you look fabulous.