Halloween Island Style

I wrote about Halloween last year, just after we implanted the Lone Ranger, the last frozen embryo from my sister's egg donation cycle. I was in the 2ww, again, and not in the mood for little kids in costumes. 

Halloween has never been my favorite, but these kinds of kid centered holidays can be especially hard for people on IF Island. It can trigger a lot of feelings, especially the feeling of being left out. So here's my two cents:

1) If you're not feeling it this year, there is no shame in turning off your lights and watching a movie in a back room somewhere. You don't owe anyone anything.

2) Putting a bowl of candy on your porch is totally legit. 

3) Avoid social media today--there will be lots of babies dressed up as pumpkins or bumble bees or something too cute to stomach. 

4) Treat yourself to something, delicious or other wise (a smashing new pair of orange ballet flats and a bag of Reece's peanut butter cups could really hit the spot right now).

5) And have a happy Friday! If there are adult parties tonight, rock them! If it's a quiet time to be alone, enjoy it. You deserve to feel good, so find a way to try and take care of yourself. 

Wishing everyone a good weekend!

Comments

[A Few Good Eggs]

We turned off the porch light and went out for Indian food. I couldn't stomach the idea of seeing cute little kids running around when we were supposed to be having our first Halloween with L. Super helpful post and thanks for not making me feel like I am a huge jerk to avoid this holiday.

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Hope everyone survived the horror of Halloween! Kidding. Kid centered holidays can be really hard because it's another reminder, and for me, it made me feel like such a wench that I didn't want to look at cute kids dressed up. But I didn't and that's just fine. Taking care of ourselves is the most important thing sometimes so I'm a big advocate of avoiding situations that are going to cause meltdowns, baby showers probably being the #1. Anyway. Hope everyone had a great weekend.

[Jessica in Sweden]

Thank you so much! This is exactly what I needed this weekend!

[Jess]

What a truly thoughtful and lovely person you are Maya. This post rings so true. Last year at this time I was gearing up for my final (because of finances) IVF round and my husband and I stayed home with the lights off and watched a movie. Wishing everyone a Happy Halloween filled with things that make you feel safe,loved and hopeful..If only infertility sensitivity was taught alongside DARE in school :-)

[Sarah]

Thank you so much for this one, Maya! Last year on Halloween was one of my more major meltdowns, as I had just had my 5th miscarriage and was heading into my second FET. My friend thought it would be fun to come to her house and see all of the kids in costumes, and meant well, but it sent me running for home and in serious tears. I agree, definitely a night to treat yourself well and take a break from all of the chaos outside!

[Laura]

Thank you!! I feel that many people don't understand why you don't want to see Halloween pics of their kids while you are struggling to start your own family!