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October 17, 2014


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Don't Count Your Eggs

Hi Britney--ugh. People can be such idiots. I'm sorry you had to deal with that and I'm sad that infertility isn't taken more seriously for what it is-- a medical diagnosis that affects millions of people! No one would come up and joke about having cancer or something. So frustrating. But it sounds like you spoke up for yourselves and didn't let one person's stupidity ruin your night. Us Islanders have to deflect a lot of insensitive and ignorant comments, unfortunately. Good luck with the embryo adoption! Hope the 2ww isn't excruciatingly slow! Lauren, thanks for your comment and for the info you provided. I really wish I was more tech savvy and could create more resources and groups and ways for people to connect on this site. It would be so great to have a little section to give support for people in the 2ww or create local meet ups for people in similar geographic areas going through similar struggles. I've met a handful on friends through the blog and they are proving to be the most supportive. I hope people will continue to comment with their location so others can respond and hopefully connect.


Britney, that's just awful. So sorry your husband had to put up with that stupid "joke" and good for you for saying something to the idiot's sister.

I'm also in San Diego and wanted to ask if you knew about 3rd Party Cookies? It's a peer-led support group (you can find it via the RESOLVE website) for those of us who used an egg or sperm donor / surrogate / adopted embryos, and it's been super helpful to me on our journey via egg donation.

Good luck! Hope your PUPO 2ww is the start of a glorious 9 months!


Britney from San Diego

Maya, I found your blog about a year ago and want to thank you for your honesty, incredible insight, and advice. I also have DOR and my husband has low morphology. Many friendships have changed over the last 5 years of our fertility struggles. We went to a wedding last weekend where we saw 6 couples that we used to hang out with when we first got married but have all moved away and all have 2-3 kids. I shared the details of our journey with some of them and not with others. We were having a great time at the wedding until my husband told me what our friend's brother said to him. This guy asked my husband if we had any kids and my husband said not yet. This guy said, "What's up with that man? You shooting blanks, you're guys don't know how to swim?" Then he laughed really loud, as he usually does at his own jokes. My husband is a pretty easy going guy so he brushed it off and walked away. But when he told me, I could tell it bothered him and I was LIVID. But I didn't want this guy's ignorant comment to ruin our time at the wedding. His sister, a woman I used to be friends with a few years ago but haven't talked to recently, came up to me a few hours later and I told her to teach her brother some manners and there are certain things you just don't joke about. She told me her brother was really drunk and I lost it and went off on her. I will never talk to her again and it amazes me how insensitive and utterly clueless people can be about infertility. I would not wish this struggle on anyone but it has shown me who our true friends are and has made my husband and I stronger and more connected. I am currently in the 2ww to see if our embryo adoption worked. Thank you for your words of wisdom, you have helped me more than you know and I'm truly grateful for this community.

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