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November 17, 2014


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IF a failed IVF cycle, you can read more information www.mannatfertility.com.. and Free schedule an online consultation


Thanks for sharing this story, really it's very painful. Mostly Peoples always get weirded out about things they don't ready to share their own experience. What I am seeing lately under a lot of different kind of articles concerning, IVF and other treatments etc.the comments about how the world is overpopulated and I think we should do something with that not add to the overpopulation. and I have known to say this is one of the worst things. So the world is overpopulated everyone that is fertile goes on. I really like your blog.
we provide IVF and other treatments www.neofertility.co.in.

Kokil Garg

Individuals dependably get weirded out about things they don't know from their own understanding. What I'm seeing of late under many articles concerning surrogacy, IVF and so on is the remarks about how the world is overpopulated and we ought to accomplish something with that not add to the overpopulation with ART ... also, I must state this is the one of the most moronic things I have ever said. I mean how? why? So world is overpopulated everybody that is rich go on and have infants and given the wiped out with fruitlessness a chance to pay the cost? This is insane. Anyway, I like your blog! keep doing awesome! Good wishes!

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I can't take my eyes off of your blog! So many helpful info and inspiring words. You make a great job! We are so lucky there are doctors and donors who help us become mommies! I had a miscarriage 7 years ago. I still can’t hold back my tears when I remember that horrible period of my life. After my loss I couldn’t get back to life for a long time. I’m glad I have my husband. He gave me support I needed the most. Together we can do everything! We wanted to have kids for a really long time. We’ve gone through a lot, but if you want something badly, you’ll get it! We are the only one, who can make our future better. I had de ivf in 2014 in Ukrainian clinic biotexcom. I've got pregnant from first attempt. We were over the moon! Our girls were born in May 2015. We've just celebrated their first birthday. Finally joy and peace came to our family. I'm the happiest mom in the world!) Girls, wish all of you good luck!


Thank you so much for sharing your story

! I find it so interesting and inspirational to hear about other women's journeys. I had IVF when I was 21 and had my eggs frozen due to fighting Dermoid Cysts and losing 1 1/2 of my ovaries as a direct result.

Here's my blog too, incase you like to hear other stories too :)

I have a happy end to my tale (which isn't really the end at all, it's just the beginning!)

Would absolutely love to hear your thoughts: https://holdontight101.wordpress.com Lisa x


Nice post.

Don't Count Your Eggs

Oh Claire. It's so hard. I wish you so much luck and love.


Hi Guys, I've found your blog whilst lying in bed in tears for the 100th time today after finding out our ICSI didn't work. I'm heartbroken and I just don't know how to move on. We are in the UK so had our first treatment funded but to try again we are looking at around £10k which we just don't have unless we get a loan.
Our infertility is male factor with unknown reasons, my DH has a count of 3.2 million per mil. I was told there was no reason I couldn't get pregnant and I really believed we could do it. We got 10 eggs, 5 fertilised and 2 made it to 3 days. One was a grade 2 and transferred and the other a grade 3 want suitable for freezing. We were only allowed one transfer.
I'm really struggling with the whys. Why did it fail? What went wrong? Why are we being punished? Etc etc..I don't know how I'm going to move on. I believe in God and I really thought we would have a miracle but life doesn't seem to be working in that way. I feel like my whole life is crumbling. I can't do anything without crying and I was sent home from work (I'm a nurse) because I couldn't concentrate. Life is too unfair. Claire x

George Hawurek

People always get weirded out about things they don't know from their own experience. What I'm seeing lately under a lot of different articles concerning surrogacy, IVF etc. is the comments about how the world is overpopulated and we should do something with that not add to the overpopulation with ART ... and I have got to say this is the one of the dumbest things I have ever said. I mean how? why? So world is overpopulated everyone that is fertile go on and have babies and let the sick with infertility pay the price? This is crazy. Anyway, I like your blog! keep up the good work! Cheers!


For a failed IVF cycle, you can read through www.shreeivfclinic.com.. and schedule an online consultation

Don't Count Your Eggs

Thank Mim x, I will check out that book!

Mim x

Fantastic blog with honesty and humour. You are doing amazing. Thanks for writing and recording how so many feel in this crazy situation.

I read a great book when I was in the depths of despair - 'Pink for a girl' by Isla Mc Guckin. Lifted my spirits when nothing else would.

Don't Count Your Eggs

Hi Kelly--Ugh. I'm so sorry for you bad news. It is so painful. I know the heartbreak. I remember after our last FET with The Lone Ranger, my dad cried. I was totally numb until it hit me days later--that we have nothing. We'd spend three years and tens of thousands of dollars and had nothing and the options seems slim. Noah took a while to come around to the embryo donation and that was part of his process. It's great you husband is willing to have the conversation, and perhaps that's what it is right now. A conversation. We found Momo around this time last year but didn't do a transfer until June (we took so long some of my blood tests had expired). Now we both are so happy that Momo is growing and doing well. In the moment of despair it's so hard to see over it. What's scary or weird one day does become the new normal, and you will be able to move forward. I wish you so much luck. Take care of yourself.


I commented on here a couple of days ago, but it seems to have disappeared.
I wanted to say thank you Maya, again. I commented a few weeks ago to say it was over for me. I had faint positive from my second ICSI cycle and then it was negative two days later. I really thought I couldn't take any more. But I have carried on reading your blog, when I haven't been able to see anything else baby related. I've finally started thinking I want to do another cycle or try embryo donation. My husband isn't too sure about embryo donation as he can't get his head around a baby not being 'his' I won't push him, but I am grateful he is considering it. I want to thank you because you give me hope. You give me options that I never considered before as I would have thought it as 'weird' but it isn't weird, it's an amazing option that has given you and Noah Momo and could give me hope of that family I so desperately want. Please don't pay attention to those negative comments from people that couldn't possibly understand what it takes to come to the decision to try embryo donation. I think you are amazing x x

Don't Count Your Eggs

Lindsay! I hope today went well! I'm excited for you and love the pict! I so hoe they come true for you. Keep us all posted. I'll be sending good thoughts.

Lindsay Monnier

Tomorrow is my sister's egg retrieval for our donor egg cycle....so this could not have come at a better time. To some people this is weird and inappropriate. To us it is beautiful and such a selfless gift from my sister. I've had this idea in my head for maternity pics (if we get that far!)....a picture with the three of us each holding a chalk board with the words "The egg" "The sperm" and "The uterus" or a big chalk board that says "How to make a baby: One part egg, One part sperm, One part uterus...and three parts Love" with my sister and husband making a heart shape over my big pregnant belly! Ohhhhh how I hope we get to make these ideas come to life:)

Don't Count Your Eggs

KB--thanks for pointing out and reminding me that most of us probably start this journey afraid or thinking we've entered some brave new world of weirdness! None of us wake up one morning and say, "hmmm. IVF sounds interesting and fun, let's try that!" Or "Wouldn't getting some donated eggs be just a blast!" We all have to go through a lot to get to the point where the rules of IF Island are the new normal. And it doesn't happen overnight. Thank you for you comment! It reminded me where I can from too. I always assumed getting P would be easy for me because I am healthy and I always wanted to be a mom--well wasn't this a reality check! And thanks for your comment Valerie. I never anticipated bad reactions because I always felt who is anyone to even react to what I need to do to make a baby--but then reading the NYT comments I realized a LOT of people have those bad reactions. But there's lots of love and support here from fellow IF Islanders, so who cares what other people think!


I totally understand this post--there was a time when IVF turned my stomach and I even thought doing it was a sign of neurosis. Now I have done 4 IVFs and I'm moving on to more "weird" things like donor embryo.

I am pretty much anticipating a lot of bad reaction from people if embryo donation or DE/DS ever works for me. There is so much blissful ignorance out there, people who suggest "just getting a baby from China." No clue.

I too have the thoughts sometimes about "maybe just I had to go through xyz in order to ...." but that part still flummoxes me. This forced quest, however poetic/novelistic, is also a burden, and works best only when the fertility treatments succeed... it's hard to know what any of this really MEANS, you know?

thanks for writing about this.


I hope my 'weird' comment didn't come across as though I actually think what you have gone through IS weird. I think it's amazing, and I'm so used to reading comments of support here on this blog, it was jarring to read comments in another forum that weren't. It just reminded me of where I came from. I remember a few years ago feeling rather smug when I heard about people having to go through IVF, and making judgments to myself about what it meant to be making that decision. I'm embarrassed to admit that I felt that way, but I did. I hate that it took me going through IUIs and year of more failed transfers than I care to remember to really feel what it is about: starting a family when your body isn't doing what it seemingly should. I never thought something like embryo donation/adoption would seem to me what it does now: an amazing option for so many of us, and really, a miracle. Thank you for sharing your story.


Very well said; couldn't agree more! :)

Don't Count Your Eggs

Thanks for sharing Carla. It's interesting how not only until we have our own experiences can we truly understand, perhaps. And I totally agree about the lack of consideration for the women/people dealing with infertility! Also, I'm feeling pretty frustrated with how issues of infertility and family get misconstrued into a political and religious thing. I might have to dedicate a separate post about it. We wanted to make a family and this was how we were able to do it. Period the end. We had no religious or political agenda. And our story is not about embryo donation, that was/ is (hopefully) just our ending. Our story is everything that has led up to this. Anyway. I saw the People article, Silvia! And Jojo--as always, thank you.


Oh goodness, I must stop commenting on Motherlode. Blogs and comments are such a mixed bag (as I comment on a blog). They can be really helpful, or a complete waste of time as you get dragged into the muck. People are so judgmental already and then it is even easier to judge on a computer screen. I just can't get over how people from both the left and the right with political agendas related to the private world of what happens in bedrooms (Ok, and in hospitals) claim to care more about embryos than the women carrying them. They think they are morally superior in showing their concern for these children in utero, but meanwhile are hurting and judging people who are living and breathing and suffering right in front of them. Let he without sin throw the first stone.
And, I also never thought I would do IVF. It made my stomach turn, too. I got pregnant immediately and gave birth with no drugs and no doctor in sight. I didn't need doctors to conceive! IVF was for others who weren't healthy or smart enough to conceive naturally, I thought. I had so much pride in having had a natural childbirth and breastfed for two years. No way did I need a doctor. Not right to do things the unnatural way and inject hormones. So much risk, don't people know natural is better? Yes, but now that my pride has been shaken I know sometimes medicine is better than living with the illness. How much secondary infertility has taught me. Honestly, I would rather not have had this horrible illness at all and continued on in my pride and ignorance with as many babies as I wanted, but the life lessons and understanding are a bright spot in this suffering of infertility.


Omg, there is a story on embryo adoption on people online! Thought of you.

From brooklyn


Amen! There are so many horrible and hard parts of IF but the beauty of finally creating a family, however it happens, actually ends up outweighing the pain. At least in my humble opinion. I don't think I would appreciate every second of motherhood like I do if the battle to get here hadn't been so damn hard.

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