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December 17, 2014


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A Few Good Eggs

Your Christmas cards are amazing. I love them. I think that if you feel like sending one this year, go for it. I am sure all of your friends and family would love to hear from you guys!


Congrats to Meliss!- another hopeful story for current and former residents of the Island- and a peaceful holiday to all...

Don't Count Your Eggs

Dee! Congrats! We are happy, I swear ;) I don't think I can ever really leave the IF experiences or community behind. I want to do my best to be inclusive and write for everyone who may be in different places here on the Island and will try to reorganize the blog in the New Year to do a better job of that. Thank you (and everyone else) for wanting to celebrate and be happy with me and please know that I am so happy for you (and Meliss!). Hi Shauna-- thank you for your sweet comment and I'm sorry it's been rough. I get it (see archives from Oct/Nov/Dec 2012....ugh, see anything prior to August of this year.) It can be miserable but please know you have a lot of support here and though I know the holidays can totally suck it won't be like this forever. That was my mantra. For years, but eventually it became true. Sarah-- we are on the same page. Returning to the "normal" world may take a little time for all of us. With your surro due any day I think your "normal" may be a very different kind of normal ;) AHHH! good luck! Sending lots of love.

I think Noah and


Meliss! So Happy!!! What a wonderful gift. I have happy tears for you and your family.


I love your pictures from the past years! I feel very similarly about going dark, and have been wondering the same as we try to reemerge from the dark side with our surrogate pregnant and about to give birth any day. I have moments when I want to feel normal again and join the ranks of happy people around the holidays, and those when I just can't shake how painful this time has been for the past few years. Trying to reintegrate with our friends has been a slow process, and sometimes I feel like an impostor, but then I also realize that we really do feel changed after going through so much. I think we are going to wait until next year when we can send a picture with (hopefully!!) our baby on it too, but in the meantime continue to take deep breaths and join in as much as we feel able. Thanks for putting words to something I have been feeling lots lately!!


Hi Maya - I discovered your blog recently when starting to research donor embryos after a pretty disastrous failed IVF (diminished ovarian reserve can be pretty brutal). I'm so glad I found your writing. I relate to so much of what you have written and a several of your videos have hit very close to home - I've watched a few in tears. Thank you for documenting your life so closely and being a voice for the rest of us out here on IF Island.
I've been beating myself up for not getting into the holidays this year. I usually send out so many cards and decorate, throw a party, buy lots of presents, generally spread Christmas cheer, etc. But after my negative beta (which we never really expected to be positive since our two day transfer was a hail mary pass of some poor quality embryos) earlier this month I just don't feel like it. Definitely identifying with the Grinch more this year! It's comforting to read that other people have taken a break from holiday "obligations" and I'm not toppling into some totally unheard of pit of despair. Although really, the holidays? Not such a big deal, right?
But it's uplifting to read that you now have Momo and are potentially rejoining the ranks of holiday card senders! It makes me feel hopeful and happy. Congratulations to you and Noah!!! I'm sure once you are ready people will be so excited to not only receive a holiday card but also welcome you back on the scene.
Again - thank you. Your blog is really bringing me comfort during a tough time. So appreciated.


Send one! Or wait till next year and send it with your baby's lovely face on it. I'm thankfully on the other side (where you will be next holiday season) I've got a 2 year old and 4 month old, I sent out cards with my babies smiling little facing and the hanging magnet board in my kitchen is full of cards from friends, all with their smiling 1, 2 or 3 children front and center. I have to admit, being in this place, with little ones to live the excitement, wonder, and newness of the holiday season, is pretty damn fabulous! Glad this is where your life is headed!


Hi Maya,

I've been following you for a while and it is time for you to be happy. I want to read your blog and smile and be happy with you week by week. We haven't had that opportunity. It's time for a new chapter, leave the old IF experiences in the past,

Let's celebrate this victory during the last half of your pregnancy. I get it, I'm just 8 weeks off of IF island, after 4 MCs and two failed FETs. It's never the same, but I refuse to be robbed of this experience after so many challenges.

I just want you to be Happy!

Merry Christmas



Uumm I am fully expecting a holiday card from you. Or not. I'll still love you regardless. Congrats Meliss we are all very excited for your positive news!!


Sorry don't me to hog your comment board Maya but thank you (and jojo!) so so much!!!! -I know I have a long way to go before I can rest a little easier (maybe never?) but no matter what happens I'm so incredibly grateful to have this wonderful community!! <3


Yay Meliss- so happy for your news!!! I have been following your journey through Maya's comment section and am so happy for you. Maya- definitely send one. The world needs to see more of you and Noah's adorableness.


God IF island blows. I like to send cards but we don't do photos. I normally get some supporting a charity. Those first few years everyone sent a card with babies on it and thankfully only one this year! If I ever send the family shot it will be me eating pie. That India awesome!

Don't Count Your Eggs

OMG Meliss! I had to comment back immediately. AHH! I know we've never met but I have tears in my eyes for you! I've been thinking about you and am so happy about your beta! Let this be the happiest holiday you've had in a while! And yes, you and Jess are very right. People we love will understand that we are kind of (slowly) back on the scene... ummm.. hi...hello there, remember us? It so hard for some many people and I totally get it. If it's yet another quiet holiday season for people who are still healing, I really do send love your way. And a reminder that it won't be like this forever. Meliss, I'm just so excited for you...


First of all I love your pictures- you guys are adorable! I think that just like you say how you have to do whatever it is that helps you get by on IF island, when you get off the island you still have to do what makes YOU comfortable - not other people. If that means a slow transition back into the real world/social gatherings then so be it, but if that means jumping back into everything right away, I think that's ok too. Besides, the people who really do care and support you will be so happy just to see you again, whether that's infrequently in the beginning or not. I'm so thrilled you guys get to have a happier holiday season.
And...although it's super super early - I wanted to tell you because you've been such a huge support- my beta was positive ..and just got the call a few min ago that it doubled... :) :) hoping my next holiday season will be a joyous one also. Xo


You guys are so cute! I love those pictures. I struggled with the same thing after my IF induced seclusion. What I ended up doing was slowly infiltrate back into things. If I felt some people needed an explanation or a comment after I was back on the grid I would say something light but honest like " wow, so happy to be out on the other side of that tough time". Most of the time people just welcomed us back with happiness. Those that didn't just revealed themselves as folks we don't need in our life. Definitely send a Christmas card. The people who love you and wish you well would love to get one. I am betting that is a lot of people. More than you may realize!

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