I saw a new OB today. Not exactly by choice, but because my insurance changed in the New Year, and while the "old me" would have freaked out about having to change doctors 28 weeks into a fairly stressful pregnancy, the "new me" tried to just go with the flow. I really liked the doc and am happy with the new hospital we will deliver at. So all is fine. Sometime there are external situations that just are, but how we perceive them and deal with them is what makes or breaks our attitude and feelings.
It was interesting to try and give the Cliff-notes version of our pregnancy story. I printed out some of our medical records (there were over 300 pages so I chose the juicy parts and then highlighted and color coded for the doc, even though I know that gives away information that I am type A and anxious and slightly nuts).
Then I told him our story-- trying since 2010. Questionable tubes from an HSG and a questionable laparoscopy that was disproved by a second HSG. DOR. Started IVF in 2012. One unsuccessful cycle. Poor responder to meds. Started 2013 injecting the maximum amount of meds during IUIs. No go. Sister donated eggs summer 2013. Transferred 3 embryos. BFN. One frozen transfer at the end of 2013. Zilch. Transfer of donated embryo July 2014. Very low starting beta. Subchorionic hematoma= bed rest. It resolved. Then had a scary ER visit with a bleeding previa = round 2 of bed rest. Then had another hematoma = round 3 of modified bed rest. Now I've been doing well and am planning on going back to work tomorrow! I'm on a part-time schedule and feel like I'll be fine. I was hoping/expecting (not sure why) for this doc to tell me I was all good and a "normal" P person, but he wants me to see a high risk doc on Friday. That's fine. Better to be cautious.
After I rambled through our story, the doc looked at me and said, "So this is a true miracle baby," to which I replied, "Yes. Yes she is."
And things will kind of go back to normal, hopefully, for a few months. Both big bleeding situations have happened while I was at work, so I am working on letting go of the fear and sense memory of those incidents so that I can just go back, go slow, and be fine. It's funny how the body and mind really hold onto fear and memories of fear. I keep telling myself fear is about the future, and I don't know the future. I just know what's happening right now. In this moment. In this breath.
Sending lots of love to anyone who went back to work this week after a little time off.
28 weeks already?! When I got to 28 weeks my OB said that's when OBs breathe a sigh of relief in their pregnancies, so congrats on this milestone!
Posted by: lauren | January 09, 2015 at 03:38 PM
Hey Devon, sounds like the new year hasn't started off with a bang for you. Or maybe it has but not the kind of bang you really want. Hope things get better soon. Samantha-- yes! More eyes the better. I see the high risk guy in an hour or so and am hoping to get a good glimpse of Momo! Anita---OMG!!! TWINS! I can imagine being nervous but start conditioning yourself for good news mama. It's time! Deb-- I thought 28 weeks was a good number also but I guess 32, obviously, is better. Momo is going all the way. I decided. So hopefully none of this will be an issues, but I suppose if it is, we deal with it when we need to. Thanks Jojo! Getting closer!
Posted by: Don't Count Your Eggs | January 09, 2015 at 09:18 AM
You are getting so close and yes, Momo is a true miracle baby! Getting back to reality is not easy, this week has been a rough one so far. Happy New Year to you guys, you have so much to look forward to this year.
Posted by: Devon | January 07, 2015 at 10:58 AM
I think you'll really enjoy the MFM, I absolutely adored mine so much that I dumped my regular OB early on and just had all my care from my MFM - she even delivered my little dude. One of the many perks is that they typically have amazing ultrasound equipment - you might even get to see the cuteness that is Momo in 3D/4D!!! (Usually the techs will switch it on for a few seconds and see if a good face shot is available!!) One more set of eyes looking after you and Momo is always a good thing!!
Posted by: Samantha | January 07, 2015 at 07:29 AM
Maya, it is indeed two in there. I went for second beta and u/s. Beta is more than 10000 and we saw two sacs. I'm a nervous wreck right now about a twin pregnancy! Go for my third beta on 9th Jan, this Friday! Its all seems so unreal to me. I was just so prepared for bad news. I was so dizzy during the 2ww, and felt like motion sickness all the time even on the couch! Husband was urging me to take HPT, but I was so sure of the negative like previous times and didn't wish to ruin the holidays.
You are so close to holding Momo! So exciting! Hope and pray to God that 2015 brings good luck and cheer to all the couples on the IF island.
Posted by: Anita | January 06, 2015 at 05:25 PM
I was reading ahead in my pregnancy book (currently at 24 weeks myself), and it said that 28 weeks is when OBs breathe a sigh of relief about their own pregnancies. It's when babies really could probably be ok even if they were born then, if given the hospital has a good NICU. I can't wait to be there. And you're there! Momoko will almost certainly be fine! You're really going to be a mom! Sorry about the exclamation marks!
Posted by: Deb | January 06, 2015 at 02:57 PM
Good luck at work. Thinking about you. You are getting so close to meeting your baby girl!
Posted by: Jojo | January 06, 2015 at 01:51 PM