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January 12, 2015


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jual crystal x asli

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Don't Count Your Eggs

Thanks to everyone for the love and for sharing. It does feel great to be normal, but anyone on IF Island does carry a little something different in their hearts, and that's ok. Physically, I'm normally. Emotionally, I'm more evolved and attuned. We all are. Whether just starting a first IVF cycle (good luck!) or coming to terms with donor eggs (double good luck) or 8 weeks P (FINALLY!) or the mom of a 2 1/2 month old that was once a tiny cell in a freezer (amazing), our individual journeys will take us to dark places, scary places, and when we come out on the other side, we will be able to look back and know how much we've grown and changed and learned. I heart retrospect. Good luck to everyone, where ever you are in this. Sending love and gratitude as always.


Congrats on being normal!!

Lindsay Monnier

Such a wonderful update!!! I will be in tears when you deliver this previous gift of a baby!


Isn't it awesome to be 'normal'?!? I had a similar situation when I emailed my regular Ob to ask about going on a babymoon out of the country at 24 weeks. Her nurse sent back the generic response 'drink fluids, get up to stretch every two hours on the plane. Travel is considered safe until 36 weeks.' I didn't believe her & asked to get a direct response from my Ob. I also called the fertility clinic & said 'I'm 35, we took 3.5 years to conceive'. They surprised me by saying 'a pregnancy is a pregnancy regardless of age & how long it took to get there. Complications don't discriminate.' My regular Ob reaponded by saying 'my nurse sent you the info. Nothing is different. Be safe. Have fun!' I felt normal for the first time!!


So so wonderful to hear that you're "normal" - as strange as it may be to hear!!! Will feel even better when you have momo in your arms :) you are so right that we always carry our IF story as part of us - I still feel like I identify so much more with the infertility crowd than all those blissfully naive pregnant ladies. It's a place I don't think I will ever get to- even though now at 8 weeks I'm feeling very slightly reassured...but perhaps having gone through this crazy journey and struggle makes pregnancy even more special, because we invest so much to get there that we feel so grateful and blessed and lucky to have made it to the other side. Anyway sending lots of love and normal pregnancy vibes to you! Xo


Oh! Congrats - I've been following along with you throughout 2014 and have been so happy to see your success and learn that all is progressing "normally." YAY! So happy for you! We've just started our first IVF cycle (yay Gonal-F) and your blog and your honesty has been such a comforting space that has helped me identify and come to terms my truths and feelings on this whole IF island. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Kiki G

Oh Maya! This post made me cry. We are just about to start egg donation cycles process and I am truly afraid. Not just a little, sit with it and don't feed it kind of afraid but bone deep terror with swelling imaginary background music whose beat matches my back spasms and eye twitches and makes my hands go numb. The two failed cycles with my own eggs beat me down further than I've been before and I have managed severe depression my whole life. I am amping up the yoga, mediation and medication (in that order) have my "team" of family and friends assembled and other goals going on for 2015 but I am just sick with fear.


As someone who has also been so abnormal throughout my IF journey, I relate. I'm finally pregnant, and my OB said to me at my 16 week check up (to which I brought my mom for moral support): "You are not going to miscarry this baby. I don't see it in the cards. You can relax. You are not going to have a miscarriage with this one." (Cut to me and my mom sobbing). That said: I still see pregnant women and feel jealous. They look so...relaxed. I envy them! I don't know their stories, but I can imagine they got pregnant after a couple months, perhaps this is even their second baby, etc. I know it's nuts and unfair and they may have had their own struggles. But I still have this weird outsider syndrome. I wonder if it will ever go away.


Congrats on being normal! What great news! Since I am often told that I'm not "texbook" I know how good it must feel so good to hear it.

Reading your blog gives me hope that we will get to our goal someday!


Your post made me tear up a little. Seriously, some waterworks going on here in Seattle. I just wanted to thank you for chronicling the journey you've been on. I am looking forward to seeing the fruits of your labor (both literally on the birth day and metaphorically in your film), and I just want to congratulate you on being "normal." xx


NORMAL! I love this! You are getting so close to her being here! How much does that freak you out? I'm 5 weeks away from my due date and it is surreal as hell. I have no idea what to expect but I'm allowing myself to start washing her clothes. And cry while I fold up the tiniest little socks I've ever seen for the baby I wasn't sure I'd ever have.


It's wonderful to read that things are moving along as absolutely normally as they should! You are more than deserving of a happy ending and I can't wait to read the first posts as you hold your beautiful daughter in your arms. Until then, enjoy the dancing in your belly - and the last weeks of life as you know it!
Sometimes, as I hold my Charlotte (now 2 1/2 months old) I still can't believe that she was once a tiny embryo in a freezer, just waiting for us to come to her. The miracle of life and the appreciation for our children is especially real to us IF Islanders!

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