Super Bowl vs. Birth Class

Soooo--- as some of you might know, Noah is a huge Seahawks fan. He's from Seattle (like Momo) and not only loves the team but loves the support of the fans, the 12th man. Yesterday the Hawks played one of the ugliest games we've ever seen. Noah was silent through 90% of it (we were also watching with a handful of friends who are all Packers fans), but his eyes were glued to the TV. The Hawks were sloppy and messy and blowing opportunities, but the fans held strong through the rain--cheering as their blue and green face paint dribbled down their cheeks. Then in overtime, some how, some way, the Hawks won. They won the NFC Championship and will head back to the Super Bowl in two weeks. 

Noah and I were stunned. How was this possible? Everything was going wrong for the team. Guys were being intercepted, they were losing the ball, they were being clobbered, and yet, in the end, when it counted, they pulled together and pulled through and walked off with a win. 

I don't want to compare this game to our years of infertility treatments, but then again, I kind of do. Only to make the analogy that sometimes the road is ugly and bumpy and anxiety provoking and you can't fathom coming out on top-- but then you do. A win is possible. Even when you think there is absolutely no chance. I have a friend who put in a hail mary embryo-- her last FET--which looked--not so good. She was researching egg donors the day after her transfer, gearing up for what she thought would be her next step, but instead she had an uneventful pregnancy and last week gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. As Noah always says don't stop believing (sometimes, when I'm lucky, he sings it).

Now, the Hawks will play in the Super Bowl on the same day (and time) as our first birth class. Whoo hoo! I couldn't think of a better dilemma to have. I told Noah he can skip out on the first class but he wouldn't dare-- not just because he knows I'll give him a hard time about it (jokingly) for years to come, but because he wants to be there to help figure out our exit strategy. We've spent so long focused on getting something (someone) in me, we haven't really given much thought to getting her out. With ten weeks to go (let the count down begin!) we are starting to think about all these things. While some P friends who got to their current disposition easily express feeling overwhelmed by the issues surrounding a new baby-- like what to register for, to save cord blood or not to save cord-blood, choosing the safest car seat-- Noah and I just aren't that stressed out. All that matters is that Momo blasts into this world safely and that we have a way to get her home without being arrested for having a baby on my lap. And maybe a cute outfit. 

Noah and I never stopped believing that one day our lives would shift from measuring out hormones and injecting them into my belly to thinking about car seats and breast pumps. Well, Noah never stopped believing. I had my moments of doubts--- of feeling so buried in the despair of infertility that the light at the end of the tunnel seemed so faint. But the light was still there, my 12th man was still there, and deep in my heart I knew my baby was out there somewhere, I just had to find her.

Sending much luck and love.

Comments

[Don't Count Your Eggs]

Hi Heather. I'm so sorry to hear this. I remember seeing an early pict of the tattoo and would love to see how it's come along. It's heartbreaking to say the least, but I'm glad you found a way to honor the losses and make something visually beautiful to remember them by. My heart goes out to you--healing from something like this isn't easy. Sending you lots of love.

[Heather]

Maya-
Although I am very happy for you, I don't read your blog as often as I used to. Our journey has ended. After 2 failed IVF's and multiple losses, I was informed that I needed a hysterectomy. That was completed in December, and while I may never fully recover, I wanted you to know that you have helped me so much. My "therapy" is a tattoo that runs down the side of my leg (it is still in progress) But at the top is a Mizuko Jizo statue in a cascade of water running down my leg with flowers symbolizing the losses and beginnings, I can share some pics with you if you are ever interested. Please feel free to email me if you would like.

[Jojo]

Great analogy and good decision Noah! Maybe you guys can record it and avoid all social media? Let the countdown begin!