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February 09, 2015

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Don't Count Your Eggs

Hi Maria. Sounds like your fear is really intense. Understandable, but also can be very stressful. If you can find a good support person, a therapist or counselor or someone to help you manage some of these intense feelings, that might help. I wish you the best of luck!

María Eugenia

Dear Maya, I started to read your blog when my husband and I started our first treatment (and that didin't work). We're pregnant now, and I thought that that fear that I felt all these years woul finally leave (I was diagnosed primary ovaric failure when I was 19, and I'm 38 now).
But it didn't, and I've lost all the peace and strenght tha I gained in my life. And all I can think about is that my baby is going to die before birth, and I don't know what to do... praying is not working, and neither is yoga (sorry but I'm argentinian so english is not my mother tongue). Iwish I knew what to do.
Best wishes and I always pray for you and your baby Momo :D

Don't Count Your Eggs

Hi JCS-- ugh. The runaway follicle--soooo annoying! And the easily P friend--equally annoying and crushing. I hope you can put those racehorse blinders on this weekend and just treat yourself. It sucks. It's not fair. But don't give up. Lisa--great news about acupuncture. Sounds like it is helping your luteal phase. Good luck with the IVF consultation. I know it's scary but you will be put on a protocol and your job will be to stay calm and just do it, one step at a time. Wishing you the best of luck. KB-- OMG, I get it. It's like enough already, right?! But your friend is right. Don't give up on your body or your baby. I doubted my body often and was so fed up with it-- but deep down I had faith that it would come through when I needed it to. DON'T GIVE UP! Sending lots of love to everyone.

JCS

Trying to stay strong this week. Just found out my IVF cycle was cancelled due to a rogue large follicle. In the meantime, my 38 year old friend announced that she's expecting, naturally, no problems. She's as far along as I would have been if my FET would have worked last fall. I've worked really hard to get and stay in a good headspace but sometimes the unfairness of this situation just feels crushing.

Lisa

I'm still here...lurking. So happy for you Maya...I've started acupuncture since first week in january and this past cycle was the longest I've had in awhile. Wonder if the acupuncture helped? had a 29 day cycle, and my previous two were 24 and 25 days. Maybe it did help lengthen my luteal phase? Anyways, next week we have our consultation for IVF. Hoping to start our first IVF in the next few months. I'm remaining optimistic, but sometimes it's so hard.

KB

I really needed to read this tonight. I had another acupuncture session today and just had one of those "NO! NO MORE NEEDLES! STOP TOUCHING ME!" moments where I just felt ALL of it and realized it's all based in fear. I'm afraid to be hopeful as we set towards our second IVF because I know what the pain feels like after ONE ivf and four failed transfers, and what if the pain of failing again is even worse? Or, the thing that really keeps me up at night: What if the reason I'm fearful is because my body deep down knows that it can't do this for me and it's trying to tell me something? But then I had coffee with my (very pregnant) friend who simply looked me in the eyes and said "don't give up." It occurred to me how little I hear that. Almost no one says "don't give up" to people on this damn island- instead they say "you can just adopt, right?" or "have you thought of just traveling the world?" I never knew how powerful "don't give up" would feel. Then to read your post, from the woman who is the epitome of "don't give up", I can't tell you how much that helped. Thank you thank you.

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