I can't believe Momo is ten days old today. I don't know where the days have gone. What am I saying, yes I do. The days are filled with logging our breastfeeding sessions and dirty diapers and I can't explain the pride I feel every time she poops. It's incredible to me that this:
Became this:
And that suddenly all that happened in the past is starting to take a different shape. Genetics don't matter, that I feel for sure. And my perspective on the agony Noah and I spent deciding what to do next is starting to shift a bit. What matters most now is that Momo eats and poops. I'm still trying to decide what my birth story means, and I'll spend the rest of this week writing more about it. From the comments, it sounds like many others have had traumatic births and as I slowly roll out of the fog here, it will be interesting for me to explore that a little. All that's important to me is that she and I are both ok, but there are moments where I think about laying helpless in the hospital bed after a blood transfusion, crying hysterically that I wasn't able to hold her. My memory is splotchy but the feelings are there.
Anyway, a few housekeeping notes today. I'd like to continue to write this blog. Though I understand that I'm officially off IF Island and that baby talk can be super annoying to anyone still in the struggle, I feel like perhaps we can all transition together. I also feel like the comments from former IF Islanders provide a sense of hope and good information, so I want to keep that going.
What I'm thinking is to write about pregnancy and parenting after IF and about Momo on Mondays. Momo Mondays. I'll cover topics that are related to her and to donor conception and the unique issues that might arise with parenting after infertility and having a new baby in general. But on Friday's I'll do my best to be IF specific. Flashback Friday's to the years Noah and I spent on IF Island. I'll try to post more video from our documentary, One More Shot, and I'll encourage more dialogue about infertility in general. Anything I write in-between will be random.
Does that sound like a deal?
And speaking of our documentary, we have ONE MORE WEEK to raise the funds necessary to create a polished feature length film. Our fundraising efforts got derailed by me blasting a human out of my privates a week early, so we need your help to get back on track and make this final push for our Indiegogo campaign.
Thank you all for all the love and support and for the thoughtful comments. It means so much to Noah and I. Sending lots of love and hopefully hope to anyone out there still in the fight to find your family.
INDIEGOGO: http://igg.me/at/onemoreshot
FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/OneMoreShotFilm
FILM WEBSITE: www.onemoreshotfilm.com
TWITTER: @onemoreshotdoc
Congratulations!!! I was recently introduced to you and your blog and film project. It's amazing and I'm so happy you are making this movie and have your sweet baby in your arms. Had a question about the campaign contributions if you have time to shoot me an email.
Posted by: Ali | April 01, 2015 at 09:03 PM
That is such a precious picture of you and Momo, Maya. Take very good care of yourself and enjoy each moment of motherhood. Stay blessed.
Posted by: Anita | March 31, 2015 at 05:42 PM
Oh my gosh Maya, that picture of her on your chest with her mouth open...there is nothing I love more!
Posted by: Sarah | March 31, 2015 at 08:13 AM
I got tears seeing that photo of you holding your amazing baby girl, she is so beautiful!!
Posted by: Samantha | March 30, 2015 at 07:55 PM
Mother & Daughter! What a beautiful pair you make. Consider starting a seperate blog where you just write about motherhood and all your adventures with Momo. You are such a great and funny blogger, that I would love to hear all about your motherhood journey and read all about baby stuff.
Xoxo
Posted by: Silvia | March 30, 2015 at 05:28 PM
I will look forward to Momo Mondays. So happy to be a part of your journey. Remember to take it easy on yourself. It only gets better! I think the joy really hit me when I was able to leave the house for the first time with my miracle baby and a woman in starbucks said 'great job getting out of the house Mom'. Suddenly I felt on the other side. I felt like I was in the club. It made me feel so much joy and so much hope and promise for those in this community still fighting to make it to the other side. That always stays with me everyday. Gives me more capacity for gratitude.
Posted by: Jojo | March 30, 2015 at 12:41 PM
I wanted to add that I truly feel these babies are very special because they are made with the love, self sacrifice, generosity and support of so many. When I look at my daughter, I see myself in her and the love of so many others. She's almost 4 months and I still cry when I look back at our journey and the gratitude I feel!
Posted by: Adriana | March 30, 2015 at 11:20 AM
So interesting that you posted momo's first cells. When I came home from the hospital I dug out my baby's 5 days cell pictures and was in disbelief and shock too. Isn't it amazing??!! You look beautiful and as far as genetics...it ain't no big thing to me either☺️. She is my baby thru and thru! I have so much love and respect for my donor because she gave me a beautiful gift for which there are no words, only tears of happiness and deep appreciation. ❤️
Very scary delivery for you! Traumatizing, even though all ended well. I would imagine that you would still be sorting thru your feelings post partum. Take good care of yourself and sending love to you all.
Posted by: Adriana | March 30, 2015 at 10:52 AM
Sounds wonderful, Maya! Momo is so precious, so I'm really looking forward to Momo Mondays. I have posted a plug for your documentary on the Resolve community site Inspire. Hoping we can get you to your goal. It is so important that this film get made. This blog has been so comforting to me and I'll do whatever I can to help! xoxo
Posted by: JCS | March 30, 2015 at 10:44 AM