HUBS POST: It all Matters

Happy Friday, Egg Counters. This is my first Hubs Post since the arrival of the one we call Momo. I’m quite fond of her, to be honest. As babies go, she seems to be pretty cool. 

 

I’ve now had four weeks to digest what’s happened. We’ve taken five years of infertility - all the hopes and frustrations and prayers and heartbreak - and just like that it seems like they’re out the door. Gone.  I think about the people we’ve spoken with who have come out the other side of infertility challenges and it’s always the same thing. “I’d do it again because it was so worth it,” or “The moment I saw my baby, none of the problems I had before mattered.” To a certain extent I agree with them. Having a baby shifts your perceptions and priorities. But then again so does infertility.

 

Here’s the thing: it all matters. Everything you are going through or went through on the way to realizing your family matters. The injections and the money discussions and the frustrations all matter. They matter because this is what got (or will get) you here. They matter because they have changed you. I think those challenges of the past will help me with the challenges of the future. I believe I’ll have a perspective on parenthood and family I might not have had otherwise. And that’s a good thing. It’s an important thing. 

 

I have been spending some late nights editing on our documentary recently, more chances to relive those painful days and the angry reactions to failed procedures. It still hurts. Some scenes I simply don’t have the stomach to watch. I don’t think I want to forget those moments, though. Those moments got us to this point. And there were a lot of them. Still, I think that Momo is making it better. Every smile, every staring contest, every time she falls asleep on my chest as I sing Tom Waits songs to her, these things all help to write new memories. Good memories. And when you struggle for so long to begin your family, you want to accumulate all the good memories you can. So I won’t forget the bad stuff but I’m going to work extra hard to make sure I notice all the new good things that happen with this little one.

 

One last bit of self-promotion… Our documentary ONE MORE SHOT was recently selected as Indiewire's Project of the Day.  Now, we are in the running for Indiewire’s Project of the Week campaign. You can go here to vote for our project. Project of the Week honors would be great exposure for the film and another way for us to bring infertility conversations to the rest of the world.

 

Also wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who helped support our film,  One More Shot. We are working hard to make an awesome documentary about the IF struggle and what alternative family building really looks like! Stay tuned. Have a great weekend. I’m going to go stare at a baby. 

Comments

[Lauren]

Thank you for this reminder that it will be worth it! I am still fighting my infertility battle and I almost can't believe how crazy this journey has been so far - it's one of those things that if it didn't happen to you, you probably wouldn't believe it. I seriously cannot wait to see your documentary!

[Jojo]

Could not love you guys, your beautiful little family and all you are doing for the world of IF anymore! It might be because I am on a ton of hormones but this post made me cry. Xoxo