I have a friend who just had an FET of two lovely embryos made from donor eggs. She is on her second donor because all the transfers with the first donor didn't work out so well. After the stimulation cycle with the first donor, her doctor told her the donor didn't have great eggs, so she had to move on to number two. This is her second (maybe third) transfer of embryos from this specific batch from donor number two.
She sent me pictures of the embryos a few days ago and it made me think about how unfair it seems to invest in a donor only to be told her eggs are no good after you've gone through the process (and paid for it!) It's not like there is a refund policy on "faulty" donor eggs. Actually, there is at a few places, but every few. I know several people who have gone through several donors-- it is just so frustrating that you've gone so far as to get a donor-- at least that should work!
Seeing my friend's embryo pictures reminded me of our various sets of embryos. Actually there was only one set of embies-- a trio that I had silly Sanskrit names for because I was going through a yoga teacher training at the time and the names felt appropriate. And then there was the Lone Ranger, the last frozen day 6 embryo from our IVF cycle with my sister's donated eggs. Each one of these little soap bubble looking cluster of cells represented so much hope for us, that when none of them worked it really was devastating. But now I think back and realize that if one of them did work we wouldn't have Momo, and I can't imagine that at all. Things had to play out exactly how they did for us to be where we are I suppose. We ended up with the baby that is 100% our baby.
But I've been thinking about my friend and her FET and I just wish so badly that this finally works for her. Sometimes the process for people is so grueling it feels like enough already! I felt that way for us when the Lone Ranger, what felt like our last hope, didn't take. But Noah reminded me to always keep a diamond in my mind and I did my best. And eventually I found my diamond.
Sending so much love and luck to anyone out there still searching for their diamond.
I love this post - you have such a wonderful way with words! Thank you for infusing a little bit of hope into my day.
Posted by: Lauren||everylittlemoment.com | May 07, 2015 at 11:05 AM
Maya- I admire you so much for continuing to post when you have a brand new baby and are technically on the other side. I am too but still feel so tied to this community and have never forgotten or lost sight of the battle and those still in the trenches. Hope you had a good weekend!
Posted by: Jojo | May 03, 2015 at 09:00 PM
So I had my 2nd egg retrieval last Thursday, and from the 12 we retrieved, 6 are now being sent to the PGD lab to be tested for HD. I was talking to a girlfriend the other day, and was explaining that I don't want to get my hopes up too much, because the last batch of 4 that were tested, none of them were able to be transferred due to 3/4 having HD and the other one being abnormal. And then she said something to me that completely changed my perspective. And its totally a DUH moment, wrapped in an AH HA moment.
She believes ( and I am starting to) that the mind is an extremely powerful thing. She wants me to only believe and think that I will become pregnant. Those eggs (or at least a few) will NOT have HD and be perfect. I WILL have a baby in my arms from this. And what I kind of answered her back with, is she's totally right. I have to believe its going to all work out, because I didn't just go through two IVFs for nothing. I went through all the shots and the $$ and the emotions because I do want to believe with my whole heart that it will work. And now I just need to switch my thinking to envisioning myself pregnant. Its a tough idea, because we all know the reality of these situations. And I'm a total realist. :)
Posted by: Blake | May 01, 2015 at 10:02 AM