..but all my Sundays are good now because I get to play with her and be with her." He actually also said Father's Day will mean more to him when Momo can mow the lawn as a gift.
For Father's Day, Momo and I got Noah a daddy diaper bag, some books and a few other little gifts. Nothing much because we all know the only thing he really needs is Momo. She is smiling and laughing and chatting a lot and has started to roll over (onto her left side only. Noah is convinced she's a lefty like him. My dad hopes she isn't because he already has a set of children's golf clubs for her, and they're righty). Anyway. I asked Noah how he felt about Father's Day and he didn't have much of an answer. While Mother's Day was always such a trigger for me, he never really cared about these made up holidays. But he's happy. Tired. But happy. This year felt different than Father's Day 2013 and 2014.
We're all tired but happy. Everyone except my mom. She's just happy. My mom is so in love with Momo, and the feeling is clearly mutual. I knew that getting pregnant was really a family affair for me, but I didn't really think about how this child was not just mine and Noah's. She's all of ours.
It's incredible to think about how different our lives are and how for so long we couldn't picture things any other way but neck deep in infertility. Noah now owns his own diaper bag. My giant Bravado nursing bras are constantly drying in the bathroom. (Best bras ever BTW). If I accomplish one thing in a day, it's a big win. If I can cut more than four of Momo's nails in a week, it's an even bigger win.
This time last year we were preparing for the FET of what is now my three month old baby girl. We were supposed to have the transfer in June, but my body reacted in a funky way to the meds and my cycle got cancelled. I was so pissed at the time, but sometimes I wonder if we would have had the same result if we we did the transfer in June. Who knows. It feels like all the steps that we took along the journey led us to her in a very specific way. There really is no rhyme or reason to a lot of this stuff. There so much luck and chance involved. We got lucky. Momo is healthy and happy and strong. Noah feels that every day. Because every day is now Father's Day.
Comments