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July 03, 2015

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Maryann

Getting excited can be scary. As we are on the first cycle with donated embryos and as we hold our breaths .. We are waiting and praying and hoping. The nurse told me to make sure to use mind over matter which is the hardest thing to do after 2 years of continuous failure in art world.. but I am excited and scared at the same time. I hope God will help us and our 2 donated embryos.

Meg

You are so right. We just got matched with 2 potential egg donors, and we actually were ... excited. Excited to do something with more chance of working, excited that we agreed so easily about which donor to choose, excited to stop waiting. And then, right as we were about to make our final decision, the donor we both preferred backed out for unclear reasons. I guess I'll have to get excited to see how we manage this roadblock?

Don't Count Your Eggs

Oh JCS, I'm so sorry. Glad you have some in the freezer but I totally get your worry. I wish you so much luck. Pamela, you're so right--learning to live with uncertainty is such a huge thing but so hard. Good luck on this next cycle!

Pamela O

Haha, this is seriously the perfect post for me right now, as we're a couple of weeks from starting our third (and possibly final) IVF treatment. For the first two (after two years, two surgeries, and a failed IUI), I was gritting my teeth, willing it to work, hating the expense, the uncertainty, and the time it was taking us away from home (we're doing it in Turkey), fuming every time ANOTHER dang Facebook friend (or Bristol freaking Palin) announced a pregnancy or birth...

After the second failed treatment, we kind of hit a wall and took a month "off" in a neighborhood away from the city center to breathe, spend time together, meditate a little, get our heads right, and of course do endless research about reproductive endocrinology... And let's be honest, Turkey isn't the worst place to spend time!

And now I actually do feel excited about our next cycle. I even dare to feel just a little bit hopeful. Who'd have thought? And -- at least as important -- I know we'll survive if this doesn't work. We'll grieve, but grief fades and life goes on and good things happen. We'll meet our child(ren) somehow.

Learning to live with uncertainty, impermanence, and how little we really control isn't easy. But in times like this, you learn. By God do you learn.

JCS

Maya, this is just what I needed today, so thank you! We just had another failed FET with no explanation why. We have 2 more frosties in the bank and could move forward with those, but the RE also said we could take a break and try on our own for a while. In my heart, this is what I want to do but I'm also scared because of my history of RPL and the 60% chance that we will miscarry with each pregnancy. But I also know that I have a few golden eggs left and, with a little time and luck, I just might actually be able to do this on my own. I'm terrified but, when I let myself think about the possibilities, I feel excited and optimistic. Focusing on the possibilities feels really good.

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