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February 04, 2016


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I am always glad to read your posts, you have helped so many of us with our journey. Reading about life after infertility is very encouraging. People don't have to read the blog if they don't want to, there are others around after all!
Anyway, you've kept me positive through our four IVF cycles....currently 13 weeks pregnant after using a donor egg....I doubt we would have got this far if I hadn't read this blog and your inspiring and honest words about your own journey. So a huge thank you! Xx

Don't Count Your Eggs

Jojo! OMG. I responded to this before but it didn't post for some reason! SO sorry for the delay. I think about you a lot and am so sorry about the chemical. That's a real kick in the heart. I hope you're recovering well and you are truly an inspiration. You are doing everything you can for that sib! Five IVFs??! Brave mama. I wish you all the luck in the world. M


I will always have your back- you are our fearless leader in my eyes :). Unfortunately 5 IVF cycles in to trying for another and currently having a chemical pregnancy. But my hope is alive and I will win this battle! Lots of love to you.


Maya, I totally get what you are saying about being exhausted from the journey. My husband and I were truly exhausted and fed up when we decided to take a break from IVF after our third and last failed FET in November. Luckily, and to our great surprise, we got pregnant shortly after and are just past the first trimester and everything looks great! I'm sort of in shock that after so many years, so many losses, so many disappointments this thing is actually happening. Your blog has been a great comfort to me over the years and I am so grateful to you for putting yourself out there and putting a voice/face to infertility. I will continue reading and rooting for you! I'm really looking forward to the documentary! xoxo


I've followed your blog for some time now. Your posts have always touched my heart and encouraged me to keep going and to never give up on my belief that someday I would be a parent. Your bravery, guts and persistence to find your baby is so inspiring. I still enjoy reading about your perspective after being on the island. It's comforting for me to read your experiences now that you have Momo. I would be sad to see your blog end, but I also understand. I'm looking forward to watching your documentary and just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart , thank you for being my lighthouse in the dark Xoxo

Don't Count Your Eggs

Thanks for always having my back Jojo (I've been thinking about you-- how are things?) I do understand Marie how my recent posts might not jive well with people in a rough place on the Island and I totally get that. I'm struggling to find a way to be genuine about where I am (this new place of parenting after IF) and respecting how painful the journey is and feeling stuck is for so many. I've contemplated retiring the blog but perhaps I'll try and transform it a little. I'm starting to run infertility support groups in LA and maybe I can focus on topics we do in group-- sort of turn the blog into an online support group forum? And then maybe I'll write a little about where we/I am at on our film website-- www.onemoreshotfilm.com-- because our film is ALMOST DONE!!! maybe that's a better place for the current stuff. Anyway, I do send everyone out there lots of love, whether you're lost running circles on the Island or desperately trying to figure out this whole new adventure of baby raising. I try to be as sensitive to everyone as I can but sometimes i don't do a great job.


Marie I realize your comment is coming from a place of hurt and for that I am sorry. Maya is, however, entitled to share her reality on her own blog and people can read or not. I have found her to always be sensitive to those of us still fighting. She has been through hell to find this joy and we should all be supporting her. I hope you are on the other side of the fight sooner rather than later so your own joy can return. This is all so hard and I don't want to come across judging you- I just want to stick up for Maya.


At least you have healthy babies. Some of us are not so fortunate. Do not complain how exhausted you are, how difficult IVF was. Really! Give your head a shake. These posts are ridiculous.


Coming off my first (failed) IVF cycle, my list of To Do's includes: coffee, wine, manicure, lots of exercise (never thought I'd miss exercising until I was told I couldn't for 4 weeks), reading that has nothing to do with IVF, and some home projects. Serenity now. FET hopefully soon.


Every word of your post resonates with me. My IVF twins are now 18 months, but I remember very little of their first year. So much stress and the constant vigilance to stay in the moment, stay neutral awaiting their arrivals, led to a rather sad disconnect that extended into their first weeks of life. I think I was terrified to get too close. Now, it seems I am just starting to recover from IF island, the procedures, and the waiting. It is so difficult some days. The recharge for me is simply getting out of the house. I joined the Hike it Baby movement and that has made such a difference for me. Judgment free connection with nature and people has been key to my recovery from the trauma as well as a daily reminder that I need to be healthy and happy too.


I am so with you, my friend! (I consider you my friend even though we've never met, in that sisterhood in DOR kind of way). Can I just tell you that last night I spent the first night on the floor of the living room with ear plugs in while my 9 month-old IVF miracle baby screamed in her bedroom, which we usually share with her (one bedroom apartment). And it was the best sleep I've had in nine months. Even with the hard floor underneath, it was heavenly. My daughter seems none the worse for it. We've been resistant to CIO sleep training, but we have been seriously loosing it with the sleep deprivation. It's only been one night, but I think we're going to stick it out for a bit. My intuition is that she's ready and we really, really need it.


"I wonder sometimes if we who have lived on IF Island for so long are coming to starting line of parenthood already exhausted. Kind of emotionally depleted, extra anxious, physically beat. "--- YES. YES YES YES.

My daughter is doing the middle of the night learning to walk and think and talk thing too, and I am tired. But I've been tired for so very long. And somethings that feels really unfair, to have such an exhausting journey lead us to such an exhausting journey! Worth it but unfair and exhausting.

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