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July 22, 2016


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It's funny how the infertility struggle tricks you. We struggled for many years with IVF and miscarriages before finally welcoming our beautiful baby 14 months ago. When we went to do IVF again this spring, we were thrilled to get two PGD normal embryos right away. It had taken us years to get just ONE --surely luck was now on our side. I got pregnant and miscarried a few weeks ago. It was such a slap in the face. Like your friend, we are determined to push forward and keep trying for #2. But I am reminded of how bad infertility feels, and I applaud those who keep trying, but I also applaud those who say, "enough. I don't want to spend a decade of my adult life going through this." It is not easy.


Hey, I just had the rug pulled out from under me, too. Transferred our last two embryos, which looked great at the early blast stage, and had strong pregnancy symptoms all week. Still, it was a negative. Just bam, like a cage door slamming down again.

I don't think we can go through IVF again. Three (plus two FETs) is enough.

I don't know what we will do next, other than lick our wounds for a while. We are pretty wrecked.

Mel. B.

I have also pretty much come to the end of the journey. After a few attempts at IVF and not succeeding as well as the gov't funding of IVF being cut, my husband and I have chosen to just enjoy our lives. We are taking trips, being a great aunt & uncle to our nephews, and are very active in yoga. Sometimes you just have to go with the flow and accept things as they are. :)


After 4 ivf's and 2 iuis I'm sitting here with my BFP at 6 weeks. I had a scare early this week when I rushed to my ER because I woke up and discovered that I had bled all over my bed. Maya, your blog entries about your trials and tribulations with momo help get me through the last few days as has your recommendation of Pema Chodron's Comfortable with uncertainty. That book powered me through my last round when I had all but given up.

I think your post today is particularly timely for me. It will be 9 months of uncertainty and I should just lean into the experience no matter what happens.


I think we are an incredibly strong & resilient group of women (& men) to go through all this fertility stuff&experience so many roadblocks,diversions including contemplating a child free life etc as you have articulated Maya & Springtime 10. Although i havent yet been pregnant i feel like i am already a parent...i feel so much love for my babies that have yet to be conceived (or were conceived via ivf & didnt turn into a pregnancy)& all the negotiation with my husband re donor egg,telling the child etc etc...as painful as all this is, i know i will be a much more attuned & sensitive parent when it does happen...we have our 3rd ivf transfer next friday & im enjoying the excitement of this stage...please god our raft off the island is coming!!!xxx


And sometimes you are just done. Life is full of regrets and not getting what you wish for and sometimes the only way to survive is to move on and be done. When you have tried every possible path and nothing works (and why it doesn't work can't be explained.) Working to accept that this is it - end of the road.

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