Let's do this!

So it sounds like some of you can relate to feeling...blah and out of touch with your body. Whether it's because after years of IF treatments you're now (thankfully) knee deep in diapers and don't know which way is up or if you're currently on the fast track to hormone hell via shots and meds, your body and the way you feel in your body really suffer. 

The years I spent doing fertility treatments made me feel-- just gross. I felt like suddenly I had these extra chunky pockets of fat on my side butt that I kept telling myself would be good for when I got pregnant, but when I didn't get pregnant month after month I just felt depressed thus ate more crap to comfort myself. By the time I got P I was already in the hole, physically. I didn't feel strong and bed rest= muscle atrophy, and a lot of time to shove food in my face. When I gave birth, or I should say after my fairly challenging birth sans epidural because I'm an idiot, I felt like I could do anything in the world. Except ten squats or any lunges or a single sit up. Or what are those things called?? Burpees? Hell. No. Getting into shape didn't feel like an option, and here I am two years later and I finally feel like it's time. This is getting serious. I can't claim that "chasing a toddler around all day" is exercise, because while it probably does burn some calories, I am not in good shape. And I feel it. 

My initial plan starting March 1 was to do a cleanse. Cut out certain foods and add in certain foods. I was hoping to do a two day watermelon fast and drink tons of water. Week one went ok, but honestly this stuff takes a lot of time-- to cook right and buy veggies constantly and to think about meal planning. I do it for Momo but I usually just shove five string cheeses into my face and then eat whatever is left on her plate. With my hands. Because I'm an animal.  Nevertheless getting healthy and feeling right is important right now for me and (I was about to write 'more importantly' and then caught myself) for Junior Mint, Momo's twin/sibling embryo. Wow, they're kind of twins-- created on the same day but will be born years apart (hopefully). So I'll share my getting healthy game plan and how I conceptualize it in case anyone needs some ideas or motivation, then please feel free to share as well:

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT:

If this is true I am a croissant. 

And this is not about weight, or not just about weight, it's about how I feel. So I don't go on the scale often. Then I just feel shitty. 

Since March first I cut out: dairy (except for a splash in some decaf tea because sometimes you need a little something delicious), carbs (yup, except for some grains like quinoa, occasionally brown rice), sugar (like refined added sugar and any sweets made with sugar. I eat fruit and a handful of these cacao chips when I'm desperate. I almost started licking a dried papaya spear the other day, I'm so addicted to sugar). Anything processed. Red meat (kind of, I'll eat chicken and fish a few times a week and just had a little red meat the other day but it was cheating per my own made up rules).  And...caffeine. So pre March first I would have a delicious cup of coffee in the morning and something carb related. I was slowly committing carbocide and I didn't care. It was delicious. Now I eat a hard boiled egg or a banana and peanut butter and a green juice or a smoothie with flax seed oil and chia seeds and fruits. It's a shift in fuel and a shift in mindset. I want to be healthy and feel strong and not be addicted to sugar and coffee--- though coffee and a donut sound.... I'll stop.  I also added in drinking green stuff (chlorophyl, spirulina) and when I'm focusing on a different organs I add different supplements (like cranberry juice when focusing on a kidney detox and milk thistle when focusing on liver). I also drink aloe vera juice. I think that's it. I'm not a nutritionist, I just made this all up and honestly I feel good. I feel better. I miss sugar. A lot. But I'll do this for a month then find a balance.

MOVE IT OR LOSE IT:

I've lost it. I was in decent shape at one point, several points in my life. Now when I wave, what were my triceps just flap in the wind. I hired a friend/personal trainer to work with me and give me some tips and while I don't fully have the energy to give 100%, I am prioritizing working out and have built it into my schedule and would say maybe I'm at 75% and I'm ok with that. 

SELF-CARE

I have big plans for self-care, I just haven't executed them yet. Well I got a massage. And will get a haircut. But here's the thing. There are the simple "self-care" activities, like a mani-pedi, which can be great, and then there is actually taking care of yourself. For me that has been important to differentiate. What do I need most? Sleep. What do I do most? Everything but sleep. I pride myself on being efficient and planning ahead and being productive and for the past two weeks I let some of it go. Laundry will sit an extra day and I will rest. Then when I beat myself up about it I force myself to stop and be kind to myself. Permission to really take care of ourselves, right? Self-care isn't just about doing a bunch of stuff to feel good, it's about looking deep into what is emotionally exhausting us, looking at how run down we are, and making a commitment to changing the root of the problem, not just put nail polish over it. 

Alright, that's enough of me for today. But please share any tips on how you motivate or are getting healthy. 

 

Comments

[Kaeleigh]

OMG yas. I relate to all of this. Swinging by to see how you were doing and find that we are in the same place right now. I totally relate to all of this. Kepp on keeping on ... I only stuffed one string cheese in my face today. So like, baby steps. We got this!
XOXXO

[Lindsay]

It sounds like you really have a handle on what you need to do to eat clean, which is great. For me I feel like if I eliminated dairy and meat and carbs and sugar I'd be left with nothing to eat. That's definitely a knock on me and not on you - I honestly don't know what clean eating really is 😂. But I can say that before this current cycle (I did a frozen embryo transfer on Friday) I lost all my pre-baby weight through good ol' Weight Watchers and PiYo (one of those Beachbody programs - I really like it because it's a great workout and super easy on my back/knees/aching body part of the day).
As far as cutting off caffeine that sadly has to be a slowly but surely thing for me. On transfer day when I was discharged the recommendation of course was to refrain from alcohol and caffeine. So I struggled with a super intense headache for a few days until this morning when I guiltily drank some coffee because I felt like my head was going to explode and I couldn't function. I now feel equal parts guilty because I had the caffeine and relieved because my head doesn't feel like it's in a vise anymore. .

[Jojo]

Eating clean is so important. Looking forward to starting that too! I definitely think it helps to have a buddy doing it with you whether it is your partner, friend or even another blogger.

[C]

This made me laugh. It is so hard to eat right in our fast-paced culture! We have two children, one from a miracle natural pregnancy and then one from embryo donation after a five year struggle and guess what - there is a good chance conception for both occurred on the same exact day. When I saw the IVF dates as we were choosing embryo donors I couldn't believe it!